Dune by Ateez

When I first heard this song, I was like, “I don’t know what you are so angry about, but I feel it, bro, I feel it.” I finally looked up the lyrics one day and said, “Wow. They really get me.” Ateez is another K-pop group, they have a different style than Oneus but they have a lot of relatable lyrics.

The light in my deserted heart
Reflected in a broken mirror
The desire in my eyes is disappearing
Further and further down

Sometimes, I see the mess in my life, and I just get so frustrated. I don’t have words. I just have lots of feelings that are overwhelming, and then I’ll grab my headphones and put this song on. Perhaps everything is awful, and my life is falling apart. In those moments, it feels so good to be mad.

The pouring rain falls and presses on my head (Presses)
Struggling so hard to get up somehow (use my strength)
I'm suffocating, I can't even count the sacrifices
I'm falling endlessly (I'm still falling down)

Sometimes I dig myself into a hole so deep I wonder if it’s worth the effort to try and get out. Perhaps even my best effort wouldn’t be enough, so it’s so much easier to accept defeat instead of trying to keep fighting to get out. It’s not that I haven’t tried, but how long should I try before it becomes insanity. After all, they say insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.

[Pre-Chorus] Heaven's door
Is unreachable and getting
further and further away

The more I try, the more I want to give up. At this point, it just feels like a losing battle. I don’t know how it even got to this.

[Chorus] What am I hurt for?
Of countless people, why me?
Who should I blame?
I Still hear it, keep your head down
Oh-oh Breathless here everyday
Oh-oh, I can't escape it

I’ve said before that depression is like sitting in a dark room, having no idea where you are, and waiting for someone to come rescue you….. Except you know that no one is coming. It’s not anyone else’s problem though, so as nice as it would be, how could I blame anyone else. If I know that no one is coming, shouldn’t I just start trying to get out on my own? Am I a crazy person? Well, more so than my usual crazy.

Yeah, yeah
Broken lights, panic (Panic)
Tied up in chains
You could be my doll
Lost in my desire
Pop, pop
Forcefully knocked back in defeat
Into shaking waves down, down
The wind's pressure wraps around

I love it when rappers put English lyrics in their Korean songs. It just doesn’t translate well. It just sounds weird. Setting the first part aside, the second part is pretty accurate. I don’t think I could say it any better myself.

Hey, save me here, help me
Hold my hand, please hold me
Water, the water keeps drying up, I'm thirsty
Even if I scream, it doesn't come out

Depression is surprisingly quiet for such a loud emotion. It seems crazy to be feeling everything I’m feeling and not make a sound. That’s the nice thing about K-pop songs like this. Even without reading the English translation, I can feel the gist of the lyrics just by listening. That’s how it feels when I’m feeling all these things, but I can’t verbalize that madness. It’s okay though; Ateez did it for me.

Into the depths
I'm in danger of disappearing
Can you remember
Will I be able to remember
Even with the shriek of my desperation
[Pre-Chorus & Chorus]

It gets worse when I’m alone, but I think that’s just because that’s when I have time to fix things and don’t. I could clean my room, shower, brush my teeth, fold my clothes, or even wash my face. I don’t, though, and that just makes me madder because then I can’t blame anyone but myself for my misery. Sometimes, I don’t even remember what it was like to feel good. I just can’t even imagine it anymore. I’m so jealous of shower everyday people.

The fingertips of despair tempt me
As if I could run away
Run away, run away, far away
I can't take it anymore

I’m sick of it. I’m sick of feeling like this. I’m sick of not doing anything about it. Running away isn’t an option for me, but I also don’t know how to deal with the situation in front of me. I can’t live in my mom’s basement I don’t want to live in the giant mess. I want to move out and I want to move forward. I had a teacher who use to tell us “This too shall pass, even if you don’t”. It doesn’t apply to every situation, but I still like it.

Mayday, mayday, mayday
Fade out, fade out, fade out
Why are you doing this to me, why
I want to live

What did I do? Am I actually cursed, or am I just ruining my own life with my laziness and negativity? I don’t even like who I am anymore. I wake up in the morning trying to figure out what I can wear to look good enough. Can they notice that I haven’t washed my hair. Then I get to work, and worry if I’m doing a good job. Did I succeed in making myself look presentable. I mean, I was never my biggest fan, but still. I remember a time when I didn’t hate myself. Wouldn’t that be nice?

What am I hurt for?
Of countless people, why me?
Who should I blame?
I Still hear it, keep your head down
Oh-oh
Breathless here everyday
Oh-oh
I can't escape it
Oh-oh, Out of breath here every day
Oh-oh Can't escape

I hate feeling trapped. I finally got my driver’s license, only to find out that I can’t drive away from all my problems. It’s nice to have songs like this that can give the words to say what I can’t. I’ll see you guys next week, and don’t forget to follow me on Instagram for a sneak peek at next week’s song.

Sincerely,
LIBD