First of all, Happy New Year!!!!!! Secondly… Did anyone appreciate their childhood as much as they should of? I didn’t. I just wanted to grow up as fast as possible, so I could become a famous singer or inspirational speaker. In the last post, there was that quote about a star pocket, and I think a lot of my best memories were not necessarily my childhood but when I was younger, at least, lol
Staying up late at night
Imagining all kinds of settings
I used to imagine I was in Eragon, The Chronicles of Narnia, or the Lord of the Rings, fighting fantastic battles and defeating evil. I’ve always been an introvert. When I was younger, I didn’t have many friends. So, I would imagine myself in my favorite books or movies with my favorite characters going on epic quests across magical lands. Those were the good days. Which is pretty pathetic since it wasn’t real, but that should tell you how exciting my life was.
Dreaming 'bout my life
Everything seemed so possible then
I would watch America’s got talent, and I was sure one day it would be me. I’d sing, shock the entire world with my talent, and become a famous singer. Or an actor. Either would have been fine, haha.
Now I don't even dream
Sick of feeling low again, mhm
After a while, the disappointment weighed me down to the point where I was just like, “That’s it. I’m never going to amount to anything.” That was why I tried so hard to achieve happiness. I figured if I couldn’t reach my actual goals and dreams, then surely happiness was a reasonable goal.
Saying that I'm the one
Thinking the world revolved around me
I thought I was special. Like I was destined for fame and fortune and could change the world. I still forget sometimes that the world doesn’t revolve around me.
Hoping for someone
To come and save me from this story
No one is coming to save me though. This isn’t how my life was supposed to go. I don’t know what I was expecting but definitely not this.
Now I don't even lean
Sick of waiting on my dreams
My dreams are more like just a nice thought now. A fun side story to distract me from all…. everything. I waited long enough for my dreams, but at the same time, what have I got to lose? If my life sucks, I should at least be able to dream that one day it won’t, even if that day never comes.
Don't forget when you were a child
Even when time passes
Let it stay in your mind
My brother once convinced me to eat grass when I was really little. I remember fishing with my grandpa, sparklers, and fireworks on the fourth of July. The sweet feeling that came with summer vacation and those months with no school to worry about. No bills and no job, and I still wasn’t happy. Funny how our perspective changes over time.
Don't live your life like you have a thousand years
Ready for you to waste your time on regrets
Don't you ever
You will never
Even if I can’t follow my dreams, I shouldn’t continue to live in regret like I am now. I don’t have 1000 years. I’ll be lucky if I get 85 more. I’ve wasted enough time, but how do I change it?
Don't forget
The dreams you had on your mind
Don't question yourself anymore
Even if the world pollutes you
Don't let yourself be robbed
Of the pure innocence of childhood
Why do I keep talking about dreams? The theme is youth and Time. As a child, I wasn’t waiting for life to be worth living, I just lived, and it was…. Not horrible. It’s no wonder I’m so miserable when all my focus is on what I think needs to happen instead of just living and making the most of each day.
Don't forget when you were a child
Even when time passes
Let it stay in your mind
Don't live your life like you have a thousand years
Ready for you to waste your time on regrets
Don't you ever
You will never, no
No wonder I feel like I’m running out of time. I’m not living; I’m just waiting for a reason to start living, and I don’t need one. I need to live and focus on being present in each moment to make the most of it and not let time slip past me. I will run out of time if I wait for my life to be complete. Like Oneus says in their song incomplete, “It’s okay even if it’s not perfect.”
Should've never given up
Should've never said "I can't"
Judging me for who I am
Should've never listened, no
Should've followed my own dreams
It's better late than never, yeah, yeah
It’s not too late though; I’ve still got plenty of time. I have to remember that having dreams is never about success vs. failure. It’s about hope. Hope that one day it will be okay. I shouldn’t give up because I have possibilities. I shouldn’t let my current life situation beat me down. Just because it’s a bad day doesn’t mean it’s a bad life. I may not be where I want to be, but I’m here and going to make the most of it.
Don't (Don't) forget when you were a child (Forget when you're a child)
Even when time passes
Let it stay in your mind
Don't live your life like you have a thousand years
Ready for you to waste your time on regrets
Don't you ever
You will never, no
I think that’s why I didn’t worry about whether or not I would amount to anything when I was younger. I had my whole life ahead of me and was busy making the best of my current situation. The only thing that changed was that I gave myself a time limit and expectation, and since I didn’t meet that, I felt like it was meaningless. As I write this, I’m living my dream right now because I’m doing what I love and enjoying it. This chapter of my life may not have been what I was hoping for, but there are many more chapters to come. It’s not what I imagined my life would be at 27, but for a 27th year I’ve never lived before, it wasn’t that bad.
Sincerely,
LIBD
Nice