I have this theory that people with bigger imaginations are more prone to depression. Maybe it’s just me. I was thinking about this on my way home from work today. The song King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men came on and it reminded me of the kind of stories I used to read.
I would read anything fantasy and adventure. I was always jealous of the main characters because, at the beginning of the books everyone is just like me. A boring human living their boring life. Not a lot of friends not very popular. Usually, their future goals and dreams aren’t even brought up. They don’t need to because we will watch their future unfold as the story goes on.
One of my favorite stereotypical plots is the girl with no friends who catches the attention of the new guy who won’t give anyone but her the time of day. I don’t mean twilight. That’s not a good example of how you want to start a relationship. There are lots of others. Then it goes on and she turns out to be a queen of this whole other universe she didn’t know existed. Maybe she goes on an adventure and isn’t the queen but discovers this new world and falls in love with the cute elf that she used to hate at the beginning, but throughout the story they grow to like and respect each other.
Frodo got to go on a mega-adventure to get the ring to Mordor!! He also almost died like 4 times though so maybe not that one. Narnia was fantastic!! That’s a great example of the fairy tale life I would like. I used to always have my head in a book. I only read fiction I never read non-fiction or historical books or stuff like that. Never. Do you want to know why? Reality is boring!!! It’s so boring. It’s mundane and predictable, and you are almost certainly guaranteed to NOT get a happy ending. Why on Gods green earth would I read that when I live it every day.
When I was a little girl, I would dream of all the great things that I would accomplish. I would become a famous speaker and travel around the world inspiring millions of kids with my life story and words of wisdom. The only problem is my story isn’t that inspiring. My life is a book I would most DEFINITELY never ever read.
The only problem is that this dreadful work of non-fiction is my life. This is where I’m at, and I’m going to be 30 next year. My imagination can keep dreaming up all the awesome things it wants, but at the end of the day, this is the story I’m stuck with. I’m not special, I didn’t get my Hogwarts letter, and I’m not saving a mythical realm. There are no dragons or unicorns anywhere, and every new guy I’ve ever known couldn’t care less.
I thought the title was super clever! I’m actually really proud of myself for coming up with it. I may be turning 30, but my imagination stopped aging after 13. I can never decide if that’s actually a good thing or not. Because that is the problem when you spend so much time imagining the possibilities.
As year after year goes by, I realize time is going on and on and my life is still just this sad pathetic work of non-fiction. Reality slaps me across the face and calls checkmate. Suddenly I start to think maybe I should have spent less time reading those books and watching those movies and more time playing chess because I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now.
So let’s talk about imagination vs. reality. Do I just lay down and accept defeat? Try to come to terms with the fact that my whole life is this lame boring saga of uneventfulness. It doesn’t even matter if I would rather die than read it because I’m living it, and it’s just as boring as I had feared. Where do I go from here? What do I do next? The only thing I know for certain is that I’m definitely not in one of those books so I very well may not even get a happy ending and if this is all there is then what’s the point you know?
Wow, I’m sorry that got super depressing, but honestly, I have to keep up that delusion of possibilities. When everything and everyone around you is yelling checkmate, IT IS really depressing. This is another one of those posts where I don’t have a conclusion. Everyone has to ‘face the music’ eventually, but how long do I have to face it before I can start pretending that one day something awesome might happen. Maybe one day I’ll walk through the right wardrobe.
I was watching Hidden Figures which was based on a true story, but it was a true story about the type of people I always dreamed I might be, so it was fine. Anyway, there’s this one scene where there’s this rocket that’s coming back from outer space and there’s a problem with the heat shield and they decide not to tell the pilot. They could’ve yelled checkmate. They could have said it loud and clear, but they chose not to because sometimes ignorance truly is bliss. Is that so wrong?
I don’t know how I ended up writing so much. I was actually thinking about giving up on this blog, but I think I’m going to choose ignorance and keep up the fantasy that eventually it will be read by millions with new comments and likes every single day. Because that’s the kind of story I would want to read. I can’t stand sad endings because we all know life sucks, you really don’t need to make a movie about it. That’s why books are always better. 9/10 very predictable, super engaging, and honestly, I need a break from this trainwreck I’m living. I stopped reading because I thought it would help discourage my imagination. Obviously, that hasn’t worked.
I’m going to keep telling myself that age is just a number because I’m not ready to lay down and accept defeat just yet. It may be getting harder to escape from reality, but I’m not going to stop trying. No matter how many TV shows or movies I watch. No matter how many books I read. Reality is always going to be there to scream checkmate right into my face. I don’t know about you, but that almost sounds like a challenge to me…. Well, jokes on reality because everyone who knows me knows the lengths I’m willing to go to just for the sake of proving a point. Challenge accepted.
I’ve got another post in the works, but it’s been in the works for months now. Thank you to everyone who read to the end and I’m sorry I can’t give you a time frame for the next one but thank you for reading and please let me know what you think. I hope you have a very happy Holiday Season!!!!
Sincerely,
LIBD
Reality Checkmate
