Hello everyone! How are you doing today? How is life treating you? I know I haven’t been posting consistently, but I’m going to talk about that a bit today. This quote is on the longer side, so we will start with the first half and discuss the second half later on. Let’s get to it!
I focused only on music. I thought my dreams would come true. Sometimes I was sure of it. However, not everyone gets to have their dream come true. It was hard to achieve my dreams, but giving up was easy.
Ocean Likes Me
I don’t know if I ever actually thought my dreams would come true so much as hoped that my life wouldn’t suck forever. Every once in a while, I was almost sure of it. One day my blog would become well known and inspire thousands of people, and my life would actually have a purpose. He was right though. Not everyone gets to have their dream come true, and giving up is the easiest thing in the world.
In the book, I decided to Live as Me by Kim Soo-Hyun she says. “Humiliation and insignificance are the feelings that people find hardest to endure” (Page 41). She says something else too, but we’ll get to that part later. Honestly, I think that’s what it came down to for me. Giving up is so easy. I love giving up; it’s horrible. If I don’t achieve my dream, it will be because I gave up. The alternative is trying my best only to discover how insignificant I really am and the humiliation of a life with no purpose.
Perhaps that was a bit dramatic, but when I heard those words, my first instinct was to think, “That’s so stupid; you should never give up on your dream,” but I just sat there and realized I had done the exact same thing. It wasn’t that my blog wouldn’t eventually become popular, but the fact that I stopped writing. That way, I would have a good reason why my blog has very few engagements and followers. I know they are out there somewhere because WordPress tells me how many subscribers I have, but it’s hard when I see blogs with so many likes and comments, and followers.
For a blog that is supposed to be about helping and inspiring others, I sure spend a lot of time talking about myself, don’t I? I just want to know without a doubt that my blog isn’t insignificant and that for someone somewhere, I was able to inspire or encourage them the tiniest bit. Enough about giving up and the horror of living an insignificant life. Let’s move on to the rest of the quote.
At that time, after I basically gave up on all of my dreams, I met you who would stay up all night for their dreams, and it made me dream too. I want to make music again.
Obviously, making music isn’t my end goal, but Oneus is on the last week and a half of their comeback, and we haven’t gotten them a single music show win. We voted and streamed our hearts out, but it just wasn’t enough for the size of the fandom we were up against. I told a fellow Tomoon that I feel like I should be used to losing by now, as terrible as it sounds. Try as we might, we only ever got them 1 win, and it breaks my heart because I know that as much as they deny it and say that we shouldn’t feel sorry, I can’t help but feel like Oneus is just as disappointed as we are. However, even after the many disappointing losses; Oneus didn’t stop making new albums, and they went into every comeback 110% ready for the win that may or may not come.
They haven’t given up though. Because no matter the odds against them, they want to achieve their goals. Also, there is usually a minimum number of years you must participate in the group when they sign their contracts. Still, they’ve never given any less than their best, even when the odds weren’t in their favor. I suddenly realized that even if my dream never came true, it wouldn’t be meaningless because the meaning could be found in how hard I tried, just like Oneus. They never give up and improve more each and every comeback. Giving up is the most effortless thing to do, but the moment I gave up is when my life actually became meaningless.
In the book I mentioned above, the author continues by saying, “Even if we don’t become what we expect to become, even if we have to bear the feeling of being insignificant, we should face our true selves and not make excuses” (Page 42). Throughout the entire book, I think ‘living as me’ isn’t about my successful life. It’s about learning to be content with a perfectly ordinary life. And above all, creating a life, we can be proud of regardless of how significant others think it is.
He achieved his dream in the end, and I think that was a pretty shitty ending because that’s not always how it happens. I think we should be teaching children not to follow their dreams (although it’s good to have goals and objectives) but to be content with being ordinary. There’s more to life than the meaning as a whole. Even if I never inspire anyone and never change the world, at the very least, I can contribute and enjoy it. Appreciating your favorite food or a nice summer drive with the windows down and music loud. Maybe I don’t have tons of pictures and stories of adventures with friends because I don’t have many. Still, I have friends, and I can learn Korean; I can work out, eat healthily, and feel good about myself. In this moment, what can you do to make your life something you and you alone can be proud of and look back one day saying, “At least I lived well.”
So I will try to be more selfish and focus entirely on myself, my own values, and what is important to me. I will try to stop caring what others may think of me. And try not to let disrespectful and rude behavior get to me from people who add nothing positive to my life. I’m going to think about what I want for myself. I like my job, and I’m working on getting my license. Maybe one day, I’ll look for a better job, but for right now, I’m perfectly content exactly where I am, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come. At the end of the day, that’s what makes a life meaningful, and if I can do that, I am not insignificant or humiliated. I’m striving to find the little things that make life worth living to one day look back and say, “At least I lived well.”
Wow, I wrote this whole thing in 1 and a half hours, but it’s really late, so I better go. None of us are insignificant. The author also mentioned in the book that this is our first time living which means we aren’t going to be perfect at it. For that reason, no one should feel humiliated for being themselves and doing their best to be happy. I encourage you guys to think about what it is that you want. Pretend no one else exists and ask yourself if you are living well. I’m not right now, and maybe you aren’t either, but that’s okay. We can learn from our mistakes, and as Ravn said at the concert, we should stop listening to the voices around us. They aren’t the ones who have to live your life. We should listen to our own voice, challenge ourselves, never be afraid to be wrong, and always strive to make the most of every day, so one day, we will all be able to say, “At least I lived well.”
Sincerely,
LIBD
