The song title may be confusing. This is the end of the series; it’s over; it’s just the song that’s Almost Over. I’m sorry my jokes aren’t on point right now. I can’t believe I wrote and scheduled all of this in 36 hours. I’m sorry I have to brag about that. Moving on, I shared this song on Facebook a long time ago when it first came out. One of my friends commented that it was really dark and depressing. I don’t think it is. I find it to be a very comforting song. I like songs that don’t tell you how or what to feel; they just make you feel what you are feeling. Whatever that emotion may be, and sometimes you just need to feel.
For all you know, we're broken pieces
I'm finding it hard to live
With something that won't last
It’s times like this that make me wish I never got better. It never lasts, and it makes times like this feel even worse. Even if I clean something, it will probably just get messy before I clean something else. Happiness doesn’t last, so why do I want to feel it again so bad? Maybe I’m just stupid.
For all you know
You're still my weakness
I'm finding it hard to
Fake a smile that I don’t have
It may be hard to fake a smile, but I am an incredible actor. No one has any idea that I’m dying inside. As I said, it’s not their problem, and it’s not like they can wave a magic wand to make it better. There’s no sense telling them; if I did talk to them about it, I would say…. “Just tell me I’m gonna be okay. Tell me I don’t suck.” Even if they told me though, it’s hard to know if people are nice to you because they believe it or they are trying to be nice. Maybe I’m just not nice.
[Chorus] Hold on
I've got a feeling like this is almost over
Hold on
I've got a feeling like we're almost done
We don't need this anymore
We don't need this anymore
Not only do I not need this. I don’t have time for this. I’m supposed to be getting my room clean. Saving money and praying every day that this one apartment I want will open up and my brother will still want to be my roommate until I get used to living on my own. I can’t be like this forever; I just can’t. Is this madness really almost over? Maybe that’s just wishful thinking.
We're both waiting for the moment
When one or the other
Cuts the light and locks the door
But in this limbo where we're frozen
We're not going anywhere
We're not who we were before
I hate how accurate that is. I hate being stuck in this in between. I’m not going anywhere; I’m not who I was before. Granted, who I was before wasn’t amazing, but this Erin is useless. 10/10 do not recommend. Maybe my psychiatrist is right, and I’m just spiraling.
[Chorus]
I've given everything [x3]
And it's over
I've given everything [x3]
And it's gone
It’s hard to explain that I’m trying hard when it doesn’t look like I’m trying. That’s the other reason I don’t like people to know. They’ll tell me what to do. They’ll tell me to shower more often and wash my face so I’ll feel better about myself. They’ll tell me to clean my room so it won’t constantly stress me out. They’ll tell me to just do one little thing every day so it’s not so overwhelming. Maybe they’ll tell me to eat ice cream and cry. The last one might actually help me if it didn’t make me feel like I’m not trying to be healthier. Do you think I’m incompetent? Don’t you think if it was that easy, then this series wouldn’t exist? Maybe I am Incompetent.
Hold on
I've got a feeling like it's almost over
Hold on
I've got a feeling like we're almost done
In the intro, I mentioned the book series that inspired this series. I’m sure the children in the story felt this way. Like surely, this awfulness can’t continue. I have to think they often hoped it was almost over, and each book did end. Each ending was just another calm before another storm. I don’t think any of the children had a major depressive disorder. Although surely that level of trauma would have a massive effect on someone psychologically. Maybe they were stronger than me.
We don't need this anymore [x4]
Hold on
I've got a feeling like this is almost over
The books get longer as the series goes on. The stories of the three siblings always got worse and worse until it suddenly wasn’t. Like I said in the intro, I only just finished book one, but maybe I can learn something. Misery loves company and all that. Even if this season of my life is almost over, I won’t know until it happens. I guess I’ll just hold on. I don’t have a feeling like this is almost over, but that doesn’t mean anything. Maybe one day, my life that’s so horrible will just suddenly not be horrible. Maybe it is Almost Over.
Thank you for reading. If anyone else is struggling, I hope your hard times are also almost over. Until then, all we can do is hold on because holding on is better than nothing. I wish you all the best. Stay safe, stay well, and let’s keep our fingers crossed for a better tomorrow.
Sincerely,
LIBD
