I’m just gonna jump right into it today.
This wanting more from me is tearing me, it's breaking me But what you want's not mine to give
I wanted more this year. I wanted to be better. Get my credit card paid off focus on my jewelry business. Take better care of myself… but the hits just keep on coming. The stress and anxiety are just eating me alive, and I can’t see an end to it. It’s too much. I’m just one person.
I'm your dollar sign, your brand new house Your product line When you're done with me I'm spent
I can’t afford this anymore. Any of this. I need to change the situation, but that’s not what I do. I like to keep peace, and not cause any ripples. Keep my head down and follow a routine. I can’t afford to keep doing it. I need a change, but I don’t want to change.
When the smoke is gone I have to face what I've become...
I’m a lot like my dog in the sense I may bark a lot but if you even come near me, I’ll immediately run away. I talk about standing up for myself, but I don’t like to make waves. Even if it’s at my own expense in my mind it’s better to suffer if it keeps the sense of peace and normal. But a person can only withstand so much before they break. All the progress I’ve made over the years and I’m still the shy, timid, and scared little girl who’s too scared to ask for help or stand up for herself.
Will you rescue me? Could you get me out alive? I'm trying to hold on but I've lost the will to fight Will You rescue me? Take me far away from this shattered life
I’m trying to hang in there. Trying to be strong and keep on fighting. It’s so hard now though because I want to do what’s easy not what’s best for me. It’s so hard right now and I’m so tired. I wish somebody could rescue me and take me far away, but that’s not going to happen.
How can I go on pretending that there's nothing wrong? Life has brought me to my knees This mask I hide behind is killing me There's nothing left Is there anyone who feels like me? When the smoke is gone I have to face what I've become...
I can’t take it anymore I’m tired of pretending. If I can’t afford this right now, how will I ever afford a car or a place to live? I can’t go on pretending like $60 a week is no big deal it is! I work part time and I hate myself for trying to convince myself otherwise just because I’m too afraid to tell them I can’t afford it. What is wrong with me?! It’s not hard, and I need to fight for myself because no one else is going to.
Will you rescue me? Could you get me out alive? I'm trying to hold on but I've lost the will to fight Will You rescue me? Take me far away from this shattered life [x2] Take me far away from this shattered life
I want to be rescued, but the only one who can rescue me from this shattered life is myself. I can’t run away when things get scary. I need to be a better person and if I keep running away and letting myself suffer because it’s easier than doing something about it than of course my life is going to suck. I want things to be better, but I’m the only one who can make that happen. Wish me luck.
Sincerely,
LIBD
