Welcome to part 1 or 2 of my series. Does the intro count as part 1? Or is this part 1? Please let me know in the comments. This translation is from klyricsforyou.com. Their translation was the most readable. Because of how the Korean language works, I tend to pick the most readable translation. Often, translations that are too literal don’t always make sense. Thankfully, I found a good translation and didn’t have to do it myself. Let’s get started!
Now stop
Even when I yell out that it hurts
You smile and scar me again
Life is hard. I say it all the time, but it’s true. It’s been hard the past year. I cried, I got angry, I ignored it… Yet here I am writing this series. Another year of my life was wasted, and it’s all my fault. Yay.
The image of an ordinary person without a mask That normal face scares me even more
Recently I’ve felt like I don’t know who I am. I’ve tried so hard to be…… however I should be, but I don’t even remember how. I try to be funny. Making people laugh makes me feel good for a few minutes. I try to talk to people, but I talk about myself, and I never know if I’m doing okay or if I should just shut up. I hate it.
(oh eh oh eh oh)
Every day, I’m struggling
To not lose to these dark emotions
It’s so hard. I just want to be happy and cheerful again, and I never thought I would say those words, but it’s true. I want to look forward to life again. I want to make my life something I can be proud of. I want to be the real me again, but I’m not quite sure who that is anymore.
(oh eh oh eh oh)
As I believe that this moment will surely pass
(Let it go)
It happened once, so I know it will happen again. I want to find the real me again. She was super awesome, and I miss her a lot. I hope she comes back soon.
This anxious night endlessly calls out to me
There’s a faint light inside that darkness
I can see the potential of everything life offers, but I feel like it’s just out of reach. Just do it, just live. Such simple words… so why is it so difficult?
[Pre-Chorus] This pain seems like it’ll last forever
I’m in my own hands, it’s the end
I got my meds adjusted, and I am feeling better. I know it takes time, but I don’t have time. I’ve wasted so much already. How long will I let life pass me by without doing anything about it? Doing nothing is so much easier though, and I just can’t seem to find enough energy to try.
[Chorus] Let’s clash against this together
I’m ready now (Hey Hey)
I’m ready now, It’s the end
One good thing is I’ve graduated from not caring at all to caring a little. I want to do better and feel like I can do better. I’m ready to be happy again and start chasing after my dreams again. I’m ready to be better, but I’m still waiting for it to happen.
[Chorus cont.] Put a brilliant end to the painful times
Cuz I’m ready, It’s the end
oh oh oh oh oh It’s the end
Like in my music Monday for Someday by Rob Thomas, I need to forget the past. Depression is a horrible disease that can ruin your entire life, but I’m starting to feel better, so I need to put my best foot forward.
I’m throwing a spark, not knowing it’ll grow bigger, yeah
The reasonless and cruel joke creates ashes in me
I find courage to say, please stop but
The quiet echo keeps repeating back to me
I feel like I’m back to the beginning. I have to learn to be happy all over again, but maybe I do. Perhaps I just need to remember how.
Hardships endlessly continue
And tomorrow keeps coming
[Pre-Chorus & Chorus]
Every day I struggle to do things just feels like another nail in the coffin. How am I supposed to follow my dreams if I can’t even bring myself to shower and brush my teeth? I understand how a person can be so horrible at doing life. Yet, here I am, amazing myself a little more every day in the worst possible way. The days just keep coming and going, and every day is another day I wasted.
Honestly, I’m still nervous and afraid
Afraid that I won’t be able to endure
Because it’s a difficult path
But still, I’m taking one more step
Honestly, I’m terrified. What if I’m never happy again? What if I never get back to normal? What if I just suck forever and die alone at the end of a long, meaningless life? I’m trying, and I know I’m getting better, but I’m tired. I don’t want to keep getting better; I want to BE better. I want to be the fun, confident Erin. Who didn’t care if she wasted 10 years of her life because, as Oneus says in their song Incomplete, “It’s okay if I’m starting a little later than everyone else”. Like Keonhee says in their song Life is Beautiful, “A little slower’s not gonna hurt your vibe”. Fun, confident Erin believed those things and lived by them. I want to believe again.
I’m putting an end to this pain
I’m starting again, yeah
From the beginning, just like new
So you and I can smile
What if I just chose to believe those things again? It’s almost midnight, but what if when I woke up tomorrow, I just believed again that it was okay if I started a little late? What if I started first thing tomorrow when I woke up? Not beating myself up for everything I don’t do. Appreciating the happy moments as they happen. What if I stopped trying so hard to be better and decided to just be?
Now I’m going forward
I’m ready now (Hey Hey)
I’m ready now, Let’s begin
Preparing for a new beginning
For that bright sun of tomorrow
Cuz I’m ready, Let’s begin
I’m not excited about life, but I’m excited for tomorrow. I’m going to stop trying so hard to be “normal” or “happy” and just live because, like Oneus says, “Life is Beautiful.” And Oneus would never lie to us, so it must be true. That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.
I’m putting an end to this pain
So you and I can smile
Let’s begin
Tomorrow I’m not going to expect anything of myself. If I don’t brush my teeth, who cares?! It won’t be the first time; it won’t be the last time. If I do absolutely nothing… Fine, then! Just another day in paradise. And if I find something to smile about, I’ll smile, and if tomorrow sucks, I’ll be bummed and try again the next day. I can’t let myself continue to live every day feeling defeated by life before the day even begins. So, I’m not going to focus on being better. I’m going to focus on enjoying life. I think I lived my best life when I stopped caring so much about living my best life.
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see y’all in part 3!
Sincerely,
LIBD
