Author: Er-Budd

man holding clapper board

Recommended Feel-Good Films: LIBD’s Top 10 List

Posted on by Er-Budd

Happy Whatever Wednesday!! So, when I say top 10 movies, I mean whichever 10 movies I can think of right now, that I like the most. I don’t believe in top 10’s because I have a bad habit of saying what my favorite anything is and then 2 hours later realizing I forgot my real favorite and I just gave someone false information. Not that it really matters usually. I recently watched Top 10 Deadliest Beasts, but I don’t think it was recent. They said the T-rex was the largest carnivorous land lizard (everyone knows dinosaurs were birds and not lizards). Everyone also knows that T-rex was most likely a scavenger and not a hunter. Of course, if you don’t know that it’s no wonder you don’t know that the Spinosaurus was the largest carnivorous dinosaur to ever live.

And if you didn’t know that then you definitely wouldn’t know that what makes it unique is that scientists believe that it was able to hunt in water as well. Talk about a fun fact. Before there was the terror bird there was the spinosaurus striking terror into the heart of any dinosaur unfortunate enough to come across it. Anyway, back to my top 10 current list of favorite movies. In this moment that I am writing this

  1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  2. If
  3. From the rough
  4. Blended
  5. The Sandlot
  6. O Brother Where Art thou
  7. Ticket to Paradise
  8. The Intern
  9. Every Harry Potter universe Movie
  10. Lord of the Rings trilogy

Let’s start at the bottom, if you’ve seen the Lord of the Rings movies and Harry Potter movies you’d understand. If you haven’t then I’m sorry you have to see it or read it to appreciate it.

The Intern: This is the one with Robert DeNiro and Anne Hathaway. Princess Diaries was great! See I totally forgot about them until just now. Anyway, it’s just a nice wholesome good movie. It’s not action-packed or super hilarious (it has its funny moments though) there’s not a bunch of strong language either which is hard to find these days. It’s just a nice story with a nice ending and lots of good feelings.

Ticket to Paradise: This had Julia Roberts and George Clooney in it. Omg, that reminds me of O Brother Where Art Thou, such a classic. Okay, I’m gonna change number 6. Anyway, I love the frienemy relationship they have going on and the story itself is just fun. Definitely has my preferred sense of humor in it and if you haven’t seen it yet, I promise you won’t regret it

O Brother Where Art Thou: This is an oldie but a goodie. Oh, that reminds me of Sandlot and Monty Python. Let me change 5 and 1 You know I love Next Goal wins I literally wrote a post about it. Anyway back to this movie. I watched this in one of my English classes in high school, and I’ve seen it a bunch of times with my mom and once with my friend too I think. It definitely has a different vibe than any of the movies you’ll see today. We watched it when we were learning about the Odyssey because it had some parallels, but I promise you it’s unlike any other movie you’ve seen.

The Sandlot: My friend just told me she hadn’t seen it and I said, “You’re killing me smalls”, but she didn’t know what that meant. This movie was THE movie when teachers had a few days of class they didn’t feel like teaching. Any time I hear any of the songs from this movie it immediately takes me back to this movie. I think I’ll love it for-e-ver! If you’ve seen the movie you’ll laugh at that last sentence

Blended: This is one of my favorite Adam Sandler movies. It’s such a funny story, but also very wholesome and realistic. There’s really not much else I can say other than it’s a hilarious opposites attract, feel-good film with a perfect ending.

From The Rough: I actually only bought this movie because Tom Felton from Harry Potter was in it, but I’m glad I did. I’ve watched it so many times and I still love it, it’s kind of serious but it has enough humor to keep it from being lowkey depressing. It’s really inspiring and based on a true story so if that’s your go-to genre then this is definitely the movie for you

RV: This is my favorite Robin Williams film. It’s a great movie that anyone of any age could enjoy. It has his classic humor but also has a lot of heart and realness to it as well. It’s got a great cast as well. Definitely worth the watch especially if you are planning a family movie night.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: I don’t even know why this is number one. It’s a horrible movie. I made my friend watch it and she loved it, but before we watched it I told her this… “This is the worst movie you will ever watch in your entire life. Don’t think too much. Just laugh and enjoy the stupidity” Regardless of its cinematic quality I find myself continuing to recite lines and watch it over and over again, so he must be doing something right.

Well, thank you for joining me for this Whatever Wednesday. I’m really trying not to run out of things to write about, so wish me luck. No seriously, I need it. I hope you guys have a great rest of your week and please let me know in the comments if you enjoyed any of these movies or share your own favorites. I’m always looking for new movie recommendations. Until next time…

Sincerely,
LIBD

a woman playing a board game of chess

LIBD’s guide to Choosing your Battles

Posted on by Er-Budd

Hey guys! Now I know what most of you are thinking, “You wouldn’t last 2 seconds in a fight.” And you would be correct. What could I possibly know about battle, apart from either screaming or crying and hoping they deem me an unworthy opponent and leave me alone. I’ve been told that when I punch people it feels like I’m throwing a stuffed animal at them. I blame muscular dystrophy, but my brother says my technique is bad too. This isn’t so much about battles themselves as it is about choosing your battles.

In life, you are going to disagree with people. We are all unique and have our own personalities and worldviews. And it is this detail precisely that is the cause of why we don’t always see eye to eye. Disagreements aren’t the only battles though. Sometimes I see someone doing something wrong or just irritating, and it can be tempting to say something. It was tempting to tell my coworker, “Well maybe if you weren’t watching YouTube shorts right now you would get out on time and not get in trouble.” That is a battle that I decided was not worth it. And don’t even get me started on social media…

My friend sent me a song a long time ago and the very first line is one of my favorites. It says “I swear to God I wasn’t born to fight. Well maybe just a little bit, just to make me sick of it”. I used to be one of those people who always needed to be right and didn’t turn down the chance to tell someone when they were wrong. I got in some pretty crazy fights with my mom, and that was enough to make me sick of it. I want to share my expertise and perspective in the hopes of letting others know some of what goes on in that brain of mine.

The first lesson in choosing your battles is called redirection. If a conversation among others is getting too heated there’s one little question that can change the subject. So far it has been a success for everyone I shared it with. It goes like this, “Do you ever freeze your bread?” Trust me, next time a situation is getting a little too tense just try it and watch what happens.

The next lesson is just one word. One tiny little word that can end any argument… “Okay”. This is also amusing because I like to say it in a way that lets them know I disagree, but they can’t argue with the word okay. If someone says you’re doing something the wrong way and you know you’re not, just say okay, you’re not saying they’re right, but you will save yourself at least 5 minutes of your life you could have wasted if you kept arguing.

The third lesson is evasion. This worked wonders with my mom and works great for anyone else you can’t have a grown-up conversation with. Her favorite sayings are, “I get it, you’re the only one in this house who’s allowed to have feelings” and “I’m sorry, I forgot your perfect and no one else is”. I’m not even joking; these are real sentences spoken by a grown woman.

When she starts arguing I would just walk away. One time as I was walking away, she said, “That’s right just run away like you always do”. Do not fall for that, it’s a trap. It’s their last-ditch effort to rile you up in the hopes that you’ll fight back, but you cannot stoop to their level.

Before we get into how to choose our battles we have one final lesson. The art of being wrong. There are times when I have been wrong. The other day at my job I had done something I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to do. I apologized and assured them that I simply was unaware and that it would not happen again now that I knew. The person was thankfully super cool about it once they realized it was an honest mistake, but not everyone will be.

You have to be willing to accept that sometimes you will be in the wrong, and own up to it when you are. Whether it’s intentional or not being able to admit when you are wrong is a quality that not a lot of people possess. I get it it’s not fun, but it shows honesty and integrity.

Choosing my battles comes down to one thing. Is it worth it? Let’s take the example of my coworker who was watching YouTube shorts after complaining he got in trouble for not getting out on time. I thought about it, and he’s not stupid. He knows if he spent more time working and less time on his phone he could get done on time. The fact that he’s not mean he just doesn’t care and I can’t make him care, so I decided to stay silent and annoyed.

With my mom, I know it’s impossible to have a mature, calm, and understanding conversation with her. It’s never worth arguing with someone who refuses to listen or take responsibility for their actions. Well, that’s not true. One time she said she would try to do better if I did better, but I wasn’t doing anything wrong in that instance. If I have to take the blame for nothing just for someone to feel slightly accountable for their actions, it’s not worth my time. Don’t waste your life on people who don’t care.

One time two of my friends accused me of being manipulative after being my silly self at lunch one day. It really hurt, and I didn’t understand why I felt that way. I tried talking to the one and explaining myself and she essentially said, no that’s just the way you are and I’m telling you this so you can fix it and more people will like you.

When those words were spoken I realized that battle was no longer worth my time. She had made up her mind, I understood where she was coming from, but she obviously didn’t understand where I was coming from and I wasn’t going to waste my time on someone who thinks I need to be better for people to like me.

I had the same conversation with the other friend, and that conversation was very much worth having. I apologized for making her feel that way, and she apologized for not understanding my sense of humor. She asked that I not joke around with her like that. Which I didn’t anymore after knowing it made her feel bad. When I want something from my family sometimes I’ll ask “Do you love me?” and in that scenario, most people say “No” or “Not that much” and it’s funny (at least I thought it was).

These 2 friends didn’t understand the humor and felt like I was being manipulative by trying to make them feel guilty. I had no idea that I was actually making anyone feel guilty until they said something. Now when I meet new coworkers I make sure I don’t joke around with them that much until I get to know them pretty well.

Listen to others, genuinely listen, be willing to take responsibility, and choose your battles wisely. There is a right and wrong way of disagreeing with someone, and at the heart of any disagreement, there should be a level of mutual respect for the other persons feelings. If someone is not capable of that, then don’t waste your time. Say “okay” or change the subject with a “Do you say pecan or pe-can for the pie and ice cream flavor?”

Maybe that moment is just not the best one for the particular discussion, or maybe they are just incapable of being wrong or taking responsibility. The reason doesn’t matter so much as your choice.

Thank you for reading. I hope it wasn’t too long, but right now if you would like to join me in becoming a great chooser of battles let’s practice a few phrases. “That was my fault”, “I apologize I should not have done that”, and “Do you ever freeze your bread”. Your life is far too valuable to be wasted on petty arguments and people who don’t care. Be respectful and most importantly, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re the problem when you’re not. Be accountable for your actions, be strong, and occupy that moral high ground with honor and integrity. I’ll see you in 2 weeks!

Sincerely,
LIBD

crop ethnic businesswoman with open notepad at table

Outro: A Simple Plan for Living Life

Posted on by Er-Budd

Wow, what a wild ride this series was, but alas we have reached the end. Not quite how I wanted it to go but my blog has always focused on honesty and realness, and I wasn’t about to abandon that now. I’m sorry if it didn’t meet your expectations, but that’s kind of just how life goes sometimes you know? I always tell people at work, “Every day’s a new adventure. Might not be a good one, but it’s a new one.” The fun is in the mystery. Unless you are eating those jelly beans with all sorts of random flavors or a blind date, but any other time….

My takeaway from this series was that life will always have its ups and downs. What’s important is not giving people, feelings, events, or emotions the power to define us or our lives. Shout out to those of you who were with me for the whole series. There’s more to life than likes, comments, and subscribers. They also have nothing to do with the value of myself or my life. Eventually, I will wholeheartedly believe that, but that day is not today. It’s one thing to know something and another thing entirely to put it into practice or truly believe it.

If you enjoyed reading this please leave a like or a comment and let me know what you think. I know I just said those things don’t define me or my blog, but I also said I don’t totally believe it yet so I would really appreciate it. Plus it’s the only way to know for sure if anyone is reading this. Damn, I really am as shallow as a kiddy pool. Do you know what this paragraph reminds me of? I just watched that new movie IF about imaginary friends and there’s this one scene when they are going to meet a bunch of them. This guy is all nervous and says something about not knowing what’s behind the door and the girl asks if some of them are scary and he says “Worse. Desperate”. It was super funny and this made me think of it.

I will see you in 2 weeks, and I don’t think I have anything else written so I should probably do something about that pretty soon. I promise I will post something. I’m halfway through this year and haven’t deviated from my posting schedule and I’m not about to start now. Statistically eventually I feel like I’ll have to run out of things to talk about if I’m posting every 2 weeks, but who knows. I think I’m gonna bring back whatever Wednesdays just in case I run out of inspiration, so you can look forward to those. Unless you hated them then I guess you’ll have to dread them. Insert evil laughter. Alright I’m just gonna go before I embarrass myself any further

Sincerely,
LIBD

assorted color star decor on maroon textile

#MusicMonday (Best Day of my life by Simple plan)

Posted on by Er-Budd

Surprise!!!! After writing frown, taking some time to be sad and angry, and getting a short but sweet pep talk from my friend. I think I wanna write it. Keeping in mind what I mentioned in last weeks post, I think it’s going to be a little different than what I thought I would write. That’s been how this entire series has gone though, so I’m not worried. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how it’s turned out so far.

How many good things in my life have I missed out on
By not appreciated what I've got

A lot, but a long time a wrote a post where I mentioned how it’s hard to appreciate things you’ve always had. Until recently, I took for granted having my own space in my mom’s basement, it was just part of my life. I didn’t appreciate not having to think about every purchase I made and whether I could afford something or not. Since I moved in with my dad I’ve got 3 drawers and a foot and a half of closet space for my clothes, outside of work clothes and pj’s I’ve got maybe 4-5 summer shirts and 5-6 long-sleeve or hoodies. I never appreciated the variety I had to pick from. I’m so sick of wearing the same things over and over again.

Sometimes it's hard to see your lucky break for what it is
By only focusing on what it's not

I have this bad habit of always raising the bar. It started out if only I could drive my life would be better. Then it was if only I had a real job, I could be proud of myself. If only my blog had a few readers… If only my views were more consistent, I would be successful. If only I could get out of my mom’s house, I’d be better. Now it’s if only I had my own place I could be proud of myself. I never take time to be proud of myself, I just raise the bar in hopes of one day “having my life together”.

[Pre-Chorus Part 1]
But now I'm starting to see
That my happiness has always been up to me

Some days I do see it. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control our reactions. For example: after my little crisis the other day, I could choose to focus on that or try to move past that and realize that what I was upset about doesn’t define myself or my life. It’s so hard though, but my life doesn’t have to suck if I don’t want it to. It’s good to be sad and it’s good to be angry, but I shouldn’t let those temporary feelings dictate whether my life is good or bad. It’s whatever I decide it will be today, and today I think I’ll stop being angry and sad about things that I can’t change.

[Pre-Chorus Part 2]
And now I'm starting to see
That I've already got what I need

When you reach the point where you can separate yourself from your feelings, you can look at it from a different perspective. I have a few perspectives that I tend to go back to. The ‘It could be worse’ perspective, the ‘look how far I’ve come’ perspective, or the ‘in the grand scheme of life, is this the hill I want to die on?’ perspective. It depends on the situation. It could be worse doesn’t really work because what I’m mad about isn’t necessarily something that could be that much worse. Looking at how far I’ve come might help, but I haven’t come nearly as far as I hoped, and that’s the problem.

The last one I think is my best bet given the situation. Out of all my problems, if this was the worst one, I wouldn’t even be mad about it. My life would have to be pretty great for this trivial matter to be the worst. I talked in the first post about people ruining your life, but problems and events can have the same power if we let them. Is this really the hill I want to die on. Is this really the thing that I’m going to let ruin my life. No, if anything is going to ruin my life, this is definitely near the bottom. I think it’s time to suck it up and move on.

[Chorus]
Today, I'll live like my glass is half full
There's light at the end of the tunnel
There's always a blessing in disguise
Or by your side
And I, I'm on the top of the world
I'm holding my chin up high
'Cause I'm livin' every day
Like it's the best f**kin' day of my life

I don’t think I could live every day like that. Realistically I don’t think any sane person could, but it’s a good reminder to step back and try to look at it from a different perspective. It’s not going to make it easier and it’s not going to make it go away, but it might make it smaller. I have a tendency when something is wrong to project that feeling on my entire life, but an Etsy shop with no traffic or views is hardly a reflection of my entire life as a whole. Just saying out loud sounds even stupider than I already know it was.

It's time to stop with all the judging by comparison
There's always someone who's got so much more

A lot of someone’s actually, somewhere out there though there’s also someone jealous of you. I promise. There are more successful people than me, there are more successful Etsy shops than mine, but there’s nobody else on earth who can be me better than I can. There’s no one on earth who could be you better than you can.

So what's the point of tryna keep up with it anyway?
Just live your life instead of keeping score
[Insert Pre-Chorus & Chorus]

Everyone’s got problems. Let’s not be jealous of other people’s problems just because they seem happy. Maybe I could be happy. Maybe I could be successful. Maybe I already am. The only reason I think I’m not, is because I use other people as a standard of what I think success looks like. If I take other people out of the equation, I’m just a person who tries really hard and has accomplished a lot. That’s something I think I could be proud of. I hope you can be proud of you too.

Every sunset, every wake
Every time I see your face
Moments I appreciate
I won't let them go to waste

If I can be mad that my Etsy shop isn’t doing well then can’t I also be impressed with how well I did at my last event? Why aren’t I? I can be mad that I don’t have my own horse, so why can’t I smile and remember all the time I spent with Melody and Sunshine. Why is it always the bad things I try so hard to hold onto?

Every high and every low
Every path and every road
Every moment, I'll embrace
I won't let them go to waste

I want to challenge myself whenever I think of something negative to think of something positive that has to do with whatever I was thinking about. What’s the point of good memories besides remembering them when life gets hard. When I’m sad they can remind me that I was also happy, when I think I’m failing they can remind me of my successes. When I think life sucks I can remember that it hasn’t always. It won’t make the feelings go away, but if nothing else it reminds us that there is hope.

Today, I'll live like my glass is half full
There's light at the end of the tunnel
There's always a blessing in disguise
Or by your side
And I, I'm on the top of the world
I'm holding my chin up high
'Cause I'm livin' every day
Like it's the best fuckin' day of my life
(Let's go)

I’m not going to feel happy every day, and not every day is going to be a good one, but at the end of the day the question I have to ask myself is this: Am I really going to let this moment or this feeling ruin my life? I’m not going to live every day like it’s the best day of my life, but I hope I can remember that for as bad as a moment might be, there was a moment that was just as good as this was bad. I read once that brains naturally tend to remember and focus on negative things. It’s not always easy to see a bright side. Life is difficult, and that will never change.

What can change is my perspective. There’s a time to scream and cry and be angry, but there’s also a time to remind my brain that this feeling doesn’t define my life. When I feel like a failure, I hope I can also remember the times I wasn’t. When life feels hopeless, I want to remember the time’s I had hope. When life feels meaningless, I hope I can remember the times it was meaningful. Maybe I won’t right away, as I’ve said many times it’s important to let yourself feel and process whatever you’re feeling. When we are done though I hope we can hold our chins up high and live each day like it’s not the worst day of our lives.

Sincerely,
LIBD

greyscale photo of rain drops

#MusicMonday (Frown by MXMToon)

Posted on by Er-Budd

I know what you’re thinking…. “Um, excuse you, this isn’t a Simple Plan song”. No, it’s not. Thank you for noticing. I was unable to write a Music Monday for a song called Best Day of My Life. I tried, and it wasn’t pretty so this is an official IOU for that 3rd song I owe you. You see my, life didn’t stay nice enough long enough for me to write it. So, you are getting this lovely song that I got to see mxmtoon perform when I saw AJR. This is a song I can vibe with right now. Sorry to disappoint you, I’d be more sorry if I had more readers but my 4 readers match the 4 visits to my Etsy shop and y’all know I love a matching set…… Buckle up, it’s a long one, and I promise it gets better as it goes on.

The trees look cold, all the leaves fell off
Maybe I should give them my sweater
The flowers say, "Hey, where is a sun today?"
As if I determin the weather

Life sucks right now. I’m falling apart. My one friend just got home from the beach and was tired, my other friend I’m not even asking to talk because she’s really excited about this job offer she got, and I don’t want to rain on her parade. And I have a lot of rain right now so it just seemed rude. My other friend is probably busy studying for a very important test and is responsible enough that she puts her phone on Do Not Disturb. My dog is asleep, so she’s no help. So I’m just here lonely and sad and depressed.

[Pre Chorus]
Yeah, the world's got its worries
Life's got us all in a hurry
Stuck on a loop overthinkin' all of our pain

So perhaps you can see why the other song was just not gonna happen. It’s okay I cried a bit in my car today. I have to work tomorrow and I’m not happy because I really hate having 2 jobs. It’s exhausting and some people like to tell me not to be exhausted because I don’t work as hard as them (don’t you just love people like that). Like If you broke your toe you can’t say it hurts because someone else out there has a broken leg and you have to earn the right to feel pain.

Damn, that was aggressive, but hey it’s a shit day and I’m gonna feel shitty about it. And there’s no one here to stop me. Like if you can work 58-hour weeks no problem, no shade my friend, just do me a favor and don’t walk around telling people who work 30-40 hour weeks that they can’t be tired. Maybe their bodies or their mental health don’t handle it as well as yours does. Let’s respect other people’s feelings instead of invalidating them.

[Chorus Part 1]
It's okay to frown, smile upside down
Feeling kinda blue like the sky right now
No way (no way), not gonna work it out
It's a feelin' that I'm havin', and I'll have it right now

I don’t want to work tomorrow because a.) it reminds me that I’m not living my best life, I have two jobs and the only reason I got to be relaxed and relieved even for a day is because I requested it off. b.) I was asked to stay late and I didn’t want to say no so I came up with an elaborate lie about a unit meeting at my other job but agreed to stay one hour late maximum. My poor dog spends so much time alone these days that I’m pretty sure she resents me for “abandoning her” because we finally have a day to spend together and she won’t even sit next to me. She’s just in her bed on the loveseat because she wouldn’t use it when I put it next to me.

You know you done screwed up when even your dog doesn’t like you. It’s not my fault though I don’t want to work two jobs (I’m pretty sure the stress alone is pretty unhealthy), but I don’t have a choice because I REFUSE to look for some rando on some app to be my roommate. I’m not moving out of a house with other people just to move somewhere else with other people. So my dog is just gonna have to hate me for a while and I’ll just accept that my life will suck indefinitely and I’ll just have to be constantly stressed and overwhelmed until I die. Yay me. No one is gonna read this. This is a total mess. Hey, just like my life! See, matching set!

[Chorus Part 2]
It comes and goes away
In time, my scars will fade
The look that's on my face
Is temporarily upside down
It's okay to frown

It won’t always be this way. I won’t always think my life is pointless and a waste of time. One day it will be almost good again and then I’ll write the one I was supposed to post today. One day I’ll look back at this post, laugh, and feel low-key embarrassed. But that day is not today. Today I’m going to frown.

Cruisin' on a cloud like an ocean wave
Don't feel bad 'bout the better
Fallin' to the ground like November rain
Sinkin' like a brick but I'm light as a feather
[Insert Pre-Chorus and Chorus]

Today, everything is horrible. My dad and his wife will come back from their trip though and I’ll forget what it’s like to be alone all over again and feel better. It’s all good.

Oh my, aren't we just fine?
Don't pay no mind
I'm just temporarily upside down

I like that line, “just temporarily upside down”. That’s a good way to think of it. Feeling like this doesn’t mean I’m back to square one, just temporarily upside down. I can be upset and angry right now if that’s how I’m feeling, it doesn’t have to mean anything.

Good morning
The weather forecast today is showing a slight chance of sunshine and sadness
It's another perfect day to not feel that perfect

I love this song because it sounds so upbeat and cheerful, but it’s really not. Maybe not feeling great doesn’t need to be so horrible. I can be bummed out and be just fine. Maybe sleep was what I needed, maybe it was the pep talk from my friend. She was kind enough to share my shop on her social media and you can too. Just throwing it out there. I think I’ll be alright. Maybe my Etsy shop is just temporarily upside down too. Another good example of how every metaphor has its limits.

It's okay to frown, smile upside down
Feeling kinda blue like the sky right now

I’m gonna frown I think. Just for right now. Until I feel like I don’t need to anymore. Everyone has bad days and that’s all this is. Just a few bad days, that hopefully are only temporary.

No way (no way), not gonna work it out
It's a feelin' that I'm havin', and I'll have it right now

I think sadness gets a bad rep. If you’ve seen inside out, you’ll know every emotion is important. When someone is happy you don’t tell them to tone it down, so why if someone is sad do we tell them to cheer up? Sure I may be a bit of a buzz kill right now, but you don’t have to hang out with me. When my friends are sad I’ll ask them if they want comfort or if they just want to feel sad.

No one feels sad for no reason, and if that’s how they feel then we need to respect it instead of trying to change it. There’s nothing wrong with offering comfort. The little pep talk my friend gave me really helped. I don’t feel better, but I also don’t feel as miserable as I did before. I’m just not ready to cheer up quite yet, and that’s okay, I can be sad for as long as I need to.

It comes and goes away
In time, my scars will fade
The look that's on my face
Is temporarily upside down
It's okay to frown

Let’s normalize the need to feel all feelings, not just the good ones. When someone asks me how I feel, I’ll say pretty good or fine no matter how I feel because if I say I’m sad then people ask what’s wrong and sometimes like today I feel like I don’t have enough of a reason to be sad. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from therapy it’s that you don’t need a reason to feel the way you feel, and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.

So let’s not be afraid to frown anymore okay. It doesn’t mean you’re going backward or that everything is awful. It just means that your smile is temporarily upside down, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you feel sad this week I encourage you to be sad. If you feel happy this week then I encourage you to cherish every moment of it. If you don’t know how you feel, I encourage you not to think too hard about it. The other thing I’ve learned is that not every feeling has a name. Unless you count ‘uugggh geez loud exhale’ as a name, but really that’s just the best way I can describe it.

Jokes aside, thank you for reading!!! I hope it wasn’t too awful, or depressing, or whiny, if you thought it was then maybe go back and reread the part about respecting other people’s feelings. That’s right, I said what I said. I hope life is treating you well, and if it’s not just remember… It’s okay to frown. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. I promise I will eventually post Best Day of My Life as soon as I’m in a place where I feel like I can write it, but that’s what I mean when I say in some of my more upbeat posts part of it is just being in the right mindset to really believe the words. Everyone has ups and downs even me. Especially me; It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ll see y’all next week.

Sincerely,
LIBD

#MusicMonday (Anxiety by Simple Plan)

Posted on by Er-Budd

Hey guys! Welcome to part 2! Ever since I got the great idea for a new series I hit a roadblock. Just between you and me, this was not at all what I originally planned. This is so much better than what I imagined in my head when I announced I was starting a new series. Also, I just saw Inside Out 2 and the way they portrayed Anxiety was so fascinating. I was sitting in the theater thinking, “omg I can’t wait to write about this”. Let’s get right into it. Also by the time this is posted my Etsy shop should be up and running so click the LIBD Designs page for more info about that. Self-promotion aside. Let’s do this.

The pressure comes, I can feel it now
I'm just another tragic case of
The only one I was missing out
Comparisons I can't escape from

I was at my friend’s house, and I told her Simple Plan had some new albums, but I was afraid to listen to them because I was worried that after so long, they may have lost their relatability. I was like “They have a song called Anxiety. I’ve got to hear it” In those first 4 verses I knew that they hadn’t changed a bit, and I was so relieved. Especially with all the drama I was dealing with. This quickly became my new favorite song.

Pre Chorus:
All these voices circling my head (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I wish I was someone else instead
'Cause it all just brings me down

This takes me back to when I was in college. There’s this part in Inside Out 2… Okay, let me stop and say if you haven’t seen the movie, this whole post is a spoiler lol… There’s this scene where Anxiety is trying to get this group of girls to like Riley and be friends with them, and it’s really funny to watch because you can totally tell that she’s not acting like herself at all, and it reminded me of when I was in college and tried so hard to get people to like me, and in reality, I just embarrassed myself and looked stupid. I’m happy that it only took Riley a week to realize that it wasn’t working. It took me WAY longer.

Chorus:
Anxiety is killing me
All of these expectations are shaking up my sanity
I'm getting so tired of faking now

And dude it is SO exhausting, especially when you realize that no matter how hard you try you will never get everyone to like you. Expectations can only be so high before they become unrealistic. I don’t know about you but I’m so tired of trying to be perfect and not being perfect. Then hating myself for not being perfect. It truly is insanity.

Chorus continued:
It's all so much that I can't breathe
There must be something wrong with me
Reality is killing me
It's giving me anxiety

This is how I felt in April and May, the anxiety was killing me. In Inside Out 2, all Anxiety wanted to do was set Riley up for success. There’s a part near the end where she was like “What’s the worst that could happen? Well, I’m so glad you asked Joy…insert chain of catastrophes….. and then we die!” I was talking to my new psychiatrist today because I have an irrational fear of being poisoned (that wasn’t the reason I went it just came up when she asked me if I was paranoid), and you know what she told me? Well, it never hurts to be cautious as long as it’s not affecting your health or daily life. For the first time in forever, someone told me that my anxiety was good.

Anxiety, anxiety
(Get away, get away, get away, get away, get away from me)
Anxiety, anxiety

I’m not sure if he’s telling the anxiety to get away from him, or if he has social anxiety specifically so he’s telling people to get away from him. It’s very vague. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

I try to run, gotta separate
It's everywhere, it's all around me

There are lots of things to be anxious about and after watching that movie and talking with my psychiatrist I realized Anxiety isn’t bad. It’s a good thing to a certain extent. The problem is when you let anxiety take over, which is exactly what happened to Riley in the movie. I think instead of getting rid of anxiety I just need to not let it control me. As my psychiatrist said, it’s good to be cautious. For example, if a stranger asks to meet you at a deserted location where no one would hear you scream, it’s your anxiety that’s gonna say, “You know what that sounds like a bad idea that could potentially end in death so I think we should pass”.

I try to sleep but I'm wide awake
'Cause every dream is filled with envy
[Insert Pre-Chorus and Chorus]

What’s hysterical is that Envy is another new emotion introduced inside out too. I spent so much time wishing I could be as successful as someone else, instead of figuring out what I could do to get there myself. I suppose envy isn’t bad either until it starts to lead to resentment and self-hatred. It reminds me of Ted Lasso when Kealy is asking which you would rather be, a panda or a lion. Then they ask Jamie and he says, “Coach I’m me, why would I want to be anything else” and Ted responds with, “I don’t think you realize how psychologically healthy that really is.” Oh, to have his confidence.

Anxiety, anxiety
(Get away, get away, get away, get away, get away from me)
Anxiety, anxiety
Turn everything, everything off Don't ever, don't ever look back[x2]
Let's turn everything, everything off Don't ever, don't ever look back[x2]
'Cause it all just brings me down
[Insert Chorus]

Do you ever wish you could turn your mind off? That sounds lovely. And never look back? Yes, please!!! Because it does, it all just brings me down. Agonizing over past events that I have no control of anymore, and constantly thinking about what I need to do to be better. I got this book that’s supposed to help with self-love and stuff, and since starting it there’s one phrase I’ve written a few times and need to keep reminding myself. “My worth has nothing to do with my accomplishments or lack of. I don’t need to do anything to be worthy of love and kindness.” I’m not sure how long I’ll have to keep telling myself that before I really and truly believe it, but I’m getting there. Slowly but surely.

Get away, get away, get away, get away, get away from me
Anxiety, anxiety
[x2]

At the end of Inside Out 2 when Anxiety is catastrophizing. Joy tells her “But none of that is going to happen today, is it?” Then she walks Anxiety over to her special chair and gives her some anxie-tea to drink (get it? Because it’s tea), and once Anxiety is calm and comfy they go back to what they were doing. I think my anxiety could use a comfy chair and tea to chill when it’s no longer helpful, alas it’s not that easy. I just have to ask myself when I’m feeling anxious if my anxiety is helping me or hurting me. If it’s not being helpful and only bringing me down maybe I can try to rationalize the situation that I’m worried about.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed today’s post, and if you haven’t seen Inside Out 2 yet, you got to go see it! I’ll see you next week for part 3, so please look forward to it. Always remember I’m cheering for you, and whatever it is that life throws at you you’ll be okay. Have a great week!

Sincerely,
LIBD

a dead tree in a desert

#MusicMonday (Ruin My Life by Simple Plan)

Posted on by Er-Budd

Alright, I was really on the fence about writing this, but I’m sending this to my friends because they are good at telling me when I’m being honest and when I’m being a jagweed. So if you’re reading this, I can only assume they approved it. Let’s get into it and just bear with me until the end, please.

There are people in your life who just can’t seem to let you be happy. They are always bringing you down and hurting you. Realistically they probably aren’t trying to ruin your life (at least, I hope they aren’t), but it really feels like it sometimes. Maybe as you read this, you’ll be reminded of someone particular that you know. Maybe not. Let’s jump right into today’s song.

[Chorus]
I used to lie awake and let you occupy my mind
I used to put you first and always leave myself behind, and
I'll admit you got real close, but
I'll be sleeping fine tonight
Sorry, I don't mean to disappoint you
You didn't ruin my life

Coming out strong right out of the gate, aren’t they? What I’m hoping to convey throughout this post is that it’s highly unlikely someone is trying to ruin my life. I may not know everyone’s true intentions, but no one is staying up till 3 in the morning plotting my demise. 99% of the people really don’t care that much. The twist to this is people can ruin our lives though, but only if we let them. And I’ve decided that I’m not going to allow anyone to have that power over me. In some ways, this is a guide on how to deal with toxic people.

Why'd I let you in my head?
I never should've let you creep in
Every single word you said
Gotta find a way to shake it

For the longest time, I was told that everything was my fault and that I was the problem. I’m not saying I haven’t made mistakes. Of course I have I’m human, but for years I had to listen to the echoes of those voices as I tried to fall asleep at night. Bullies, teachers, and even family members.

They say things like “You’ve brought this all upon yourself”, “you just try to cause trouble”, “You’re so fat”, or “Your so lazy, you don’t even try”. When you hear something enough times it gets stuck in your head whether it’s true or not. It’s like when a song you don’t like is stuck in your head and you just can’t forget it no matter how hard you try.

You don't wanna let me be
You wanna see me fall to pieces
Tryna put a curse on me
Gotta find a way to break it
[Insert Chorus]

Sometimes it seems as if people can’t stand to see you happy, like they make it their personal mission in life to mess with you and make you miserable. Just like I said before 99% of them really couldn’t care less about you, but that doesn’t stop it from happening. There are toxic people in the world. People who only think about themselves, manipulating, and gaslighting others. I experienced that in school as well, but the problem is that when it starts happening from a young age you don’t realize that it’s not okay. At least, I didn’t realize it was toxic; I just knew they were mean and I didn’t want to be around them.

Some days I just can't win
You always had to point your finger
But words will never pierce my skin
I finally found a way to shake them

There are always going to be people in your life who hurt you. I used to hate going to family gatherings for this reason. Back then I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I just sat there and took it. Another voice that would echo in my head. I have to ask myself if what they are saying is true. It could be a valid complaint and instead of an insult, I can use it as an opportunity to grow.

The good thing about making mistakes is that you get to learn from them and not make them again. Sometimes what they are saying is BS and you just got to let it go in one ear and out the other. People are jagweeds sometimes, and just because someone is family, or a close friend doesn’t give them the right to treat you like shit. I deserve better, and I deserve respect. I didn’t believe it before, but I do now, and I hope you do too.

And you can spill your hate on me
Now I know that I can take it

Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to cut toxic people out of your life, but I’m not going to allow people like that to have power over me anymore. If people can’t treat me decently and with a little bit of civil respect, then I don’t need them in my life. No matter what anyone says, I am not the problem. I’m happy to be reasonable and civil so if someone’s got a problem it’s on them not me. This is why it’s good to have friends like mine who can objectively tell me when I am the problem. 9 times out of 10 though, I’m not.

And you're the one who's hurt clearly
You're the one who's really breaking
[Insert Chorus]

There’s that old saying, “Hurt people, hurt people”. Oftentimes toxic people aren’t bad people. They are people who are hurting and are so unhappy with their own lives that they want everyone around them to be as miserable as they are. I feel sorry for them because even while I come out stronger on the other side, they will continue to be unhappy.

Narcissism is also a real thing, and people who are narcissists legitimately can’t see how or why their behavior hurts others. Again, that’s their own problem and has nothing to do with me. Maybe one day the people who hurt us and manipulate us will also realize that they deserve better too and stand up for themselves instead of putting others down. It’s really kind of sad when you think about it.

I used to lie awake and let you occupy my mind (occupy my mind)
I used to put you first and always leave myself behind and

I wasted so much time believing their lies and being hard on myself. I didn’t know how to deal with toxic people for a long time. I was also to scared to stand up for myself. My self-esteem went down the drain, and I genuinely felt guilty for a lot of things that weren’t my fault because I was told that I was. For example, my teachers got mad at me for not applying myself, but they didn’t follow my 504 plan, where I was supposed to have my notes printed out for me.

They didn’t say that though. They said if I actually tried then I would get better grades. It’s funny because there was 1 teacher who printed my notes out. Not just for me, he did it for the whole class. He’d give us all the notes a day before to review before class. I got a B in his class. It was the highest grade I got in high school outside my graphic design and media classes. Maybe if the other teachers applied themselves and printed my notes out, I’d have a better grade. I guess we will never know.

I'll admit you got real close but
I'll be sleeping fine tonight
Sorry, I don't mean to disappoint you

I wish I could have come to this epiphany earlier, but better late than never. It’s never too late to start putting yourself first and realize that you are worthy of respect. Have standards for how you would like to be treated. Be angry when people disrespect you because you deserve better. Be proud because you are the only you in the entire universe. Don’t let other people determine your worth and value for as long as I did. It’s a waste of time and energy and no matter how hard you try they will never be satisfied.

You didn't ruin my life [x3]

I guess the title isn’t totally accurate because a lot of people DID ruin my life, but that ends today, right now. No one has the power to ruin your life unless you let them, so for the love of all that is good in this world…. Stop letting them. I’m directing that mostly at myself, but I think it’s good advice for anyone.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please give it a like, and I would love to hear from y’all as well, so don’t be shy about leaving a comment. I’ll see y’all next week!

Sincerely,
LIBD

closeup photo of journal book and pencils

Intro: A Simple Plan for Living Life

Posted on by Er-Budd

Hello world!! A new series, can you believe it? I can’t, and I wrote it. I’m just kidding. How are you guys doing? It should be the end of July most likely when this is posted. How has your summer been going? These aren’t rhetorical questions, I am genuinely curious, so let me know in the comments. Anyway, that’s enough small talk. Let’s get this thing started!

Now the title sounds a little misleading. This series isn’t going to reveal the magic spell that’s going to solve all your problems and make you live happily ever after. Life will always be difficult, but recently I’ve had a change of perspective. It could just be a brief vacation from being constantly depressed, but whatever it is I’ll take it. And I want to write about it before I forget how life feels right now because it sucked for a LONG time. In the future, I’ll be able to look back and see that every storm no matter how bad, will eventually pass.

So you may have been tipped off by the title, but this is going to be a series of Music Mondays with some of my absolute favorite songs by Simple Plan. Part 1 is going to be a song called Ruin My Life (lol I know right?!). Part 2 will be their song Anxiety with a special shout-out to the movie Inside Out 2 because how could I not? Lastly, Part 3 will be going through their song Best Day of My Life. Then as per usual, we will wrap it up with an outro. I’m really excited to write this, and I hope you enjoy reading it.

This series will go over a lot of things I’ve been struggling with and my journey to becoming what my favorite YouTuber Charlotte Dobre calls “a recovering people pleaser”. I hope the thoughts and experiences that I share in the next few weeks can encourage others who may be dealing with something similar. Make sure you’ve subscribed so you get notified as soon as Part 1 is posted, and I will see you all On Monday!!

Sincerely,
LIBD

#Music Monday (Way Less Sad by AJR)

Posted on by Er-Budd

Hey y’all! I hope you are doing well. I can’t believe it’s July and I haven’t fallen behind in my posting schedule. Darn, I bet I just jinxed myself, thanks a lot, guys!! It’s not like there’s a backspace button or anything where I could just delete what I wrote and not jinx myself…. In a perfect world. Anyway, enough chitter chatter, let’s dive right in. You all read the title, right? I don’t have to do a fancy introduction. Y’all know what you’re reading, and if you don’t; Well, the fun is in the mystery. Let’s do this!!

I should move 'cause New York is gettin' muddy out
There's L.A. but it's always kinda sunny out

I keep saying I’m going to move to Arizona, but I hate moving. Also, I’ve discovered I’m one of those people who’s just never satisfied. 70 and Sunny is my ideal day. 60-70 is my ideal temperature zone for me to not complain. But I don’t like it super sunny either so I’ve just accepted wherever I want to move to, I would still complain. That’s just the kind of person I am

And I don't wanna hurt no more
So I set my bar real low

This is my secret to life. I’ve said before when I went to see Cats the Musical, my bar was set so low that even an ant couldn’t crawl under it. Because of that, I think I enjoyed the movie more than anyone else on earth. It was not nearly as horrible as I was expecting. They took a musical with no plot and made it into a movie that kind of had a plot and only changed the songs a bit. I still think they butchered Mungojerry and Rumpletezer’s song, but that’s not why we are here today.

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm a-okay, I'm a-okay 
You say it but you just don't mean it
You're so insane, you're so insane 
Shut up and just enjoy this feelin'

I’m not okay in the way most people mean when they say that, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I still have moments throughout the day that I enjoy. Right now I’m dealing with rotator cuff tendonitis which really sucks. I’d be more mad, but after 15 years I finally figured out what’s wrong with my arm so yay me!!!! I never say I’m good. I usually just say pretty good and sometimes I mean it, but feeling okay, like genuinely okay, is pretty fantastic.

[Chorus]
Don't you love it, don't you love it?
No, I ain't happy yet
But I'm way less sad
Don't you love it, don't you love it?
No, I ain't happy yet
But I'm way less sad

And you know what, I am WAY less sad than I used to be and I do love it. It’s quite refreshing. It feels good to wake up in the morning and not have any major catastrophes or crisis to deal with. Which is great since sometimes just dealing with my day can be a chore. You can’t always be happy though, so I have no problem settling with way less sad.

I wake up and I'm not so mad at Twitter now

The only way to not be mad at Twitter is to not be on Twitter, but maybe that was his strategy. Let me let you in on a secret… Twitter is stupid and pointless. If you want to stay in touch with someone, use Facebook. If you want a sense of community with random strangers, go join Reddit. The only thing people use Twitter for is to go pick fights with someone else whose life is so boring they also have nothing better to do than argue with rando’s online. I’m not so mad at Twitter anymore, but that doesn’t mean I hate it any less. Change my mind.

Livin' sucks but it's suckin' just a little now
And I don't wanna cry no more
So I set my bar real low

After 2 months of hell, I feel like anything would feel like a step up but I haven’t cried in like 2 weeks. How awesome is that? Please, hold your applause. You’re too kind, seriously stop clapping. I think I might start raising my bar just a bit. Maybe half an inch off the ground? That sounds like a good start, maybe in another week, I’ll raise it to a full inch who knows?

[Insert Pre-Chorus & Chorus]
I may wrong, I may be wrong
It's stupid but it's all I have

Maybe things aren’t actually great like I said in the last paragraph. When your life sucks that much for that long, anything is going to feel like a step up. I don’t care though. It’s stupid but it’s all I have. My counselor had to explain to me that I’m not having tiny manic episodes, I’m just actually happy and that’s a good thing. It feels good.

Don't you love it, don't you love it?
No, I ain't happy yet
But I'm way less sad

Quite frankly I’m not sure why he is asking. I don’t particularly care what you think of me or my feelings. If you are happy just be happy it doesn’t matter if anyone else loves it, I love it!!! Happiness still freaks me out a bit, but I can deal with way less sadness.

Well, I can't fall asleep and I'm losin' my mind
'Cause it's half-past three and my brain's on fire
I've been countin' sheep but the sheep all died
And I'm tryin' too hard but I can't not try

This is the problem with happiness. It always brings its side-kick excitement. I don’t need that when I’m trying to sleep!! How am I supposed to fall asleep if I’m all happy and looking forward to life? I hate how unnatural it feels. For example, I’m trying to fall asleep and it’s 11:30 and I have to work the next day, but all I can think about is how excited I am to open my Etsy shop. I was assured it’s not my bipolar disorder, but real genuine excitement which would be fine at like 3pm when my day starts dragging. Heaven forbid my feelings be convenient.

Well, I can't fall asleep and I'm losin' my mind
'Cause it's half-past three and my brain's on fire
I've been countin' sheep but the sheep all died
And I'm not dead yet, so I guess I'll be alright

That last line has gotten me through some of the worst days. When everything just seems so shitty I remember those words. It’s one thing to be told you’ll be alright, but it’s another thing entirely when I actually feel like I’m going to be alright. Sometimes those tiny little emotions feel more powerful than all the joy in the world.

[Insert Chorus]
I may be wrong, I may be wrong
It's stupid but it's all I have
Don't you love it, don't you love it?
No, I ain't happy yet
But I'm way less sad

I don’t think I’m wrong. Not right now at least. I’m not happy yet, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am way less sad.

Thank you so much for reading, I’ll post the song at the end. I got to see them perform this live along with a bunch of other amazing songs. It was sooooooooo much fun. Singing this song, and hearing it sung live. Not just because I like the songs, but because I truly believed the lyrics……. It’s hard to describe the sense of inner peace it gave me. I would love to see them again one day.

Don’t forget to like and leave a comment. Even if your comment is just that AJR is one of the best groups ever, you wouldn’t be wrong, so I’ll allow it. I hope you guys have a great week this week, and I will see you in 2 weeks with the intro to my new series ‘A Simple Plan for living life’. Get ready for even more music Mondays. I bet you’ll never guess which group it’s featuring…

Sincerely,
LIBD

white string light

K-Quotes: The Sound of Magic

Posted on by Er-Budd

There’s this really….. Great? Yeah… it was a good show overall. It was a little too High School Musical, but I liked the story, and it had some excellent quotes. I would recommend it, but just be aware that it is part musical. Anywho, let’s get on with it. Today, there are three different quotes I want to reflect upon, but which one should I start with?

I’m not saying you should only do what you want. You should do whatever it is you want to do just as much as the things you don’t want to do.

Bro, that’s what I did this year. I didn’t even realize it until now. This quote has been sitting in my phone collecting metaphorical dust for like…. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I watched this. Better late than never though; am I right?! I don’t remember the context exactly, but I think she was saying that he needs to grow up and be more responsible. After all, when you grow up, you can’t just spend all day messing around and doing as you please. In the words of Cage the Elephant, “We got bills to pay, we got mouths to feed.” This first quote was his response.

Just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I can’t still have fun and enjoy life. Which I’ve obviously embraced if the stickers and decals on my car are anything to go by. I went to concerts, and I’m going to see Liverpool play in July. I also got a second job to save up to move out next year. Maybe growing up doesn’t have to be a horrible thing after all. When I was a kid, my parents would have NEVER given me the Tomoon 2nd generation Fanclub membership kit. They definitely wouldn’t have let me have the 3rd gen membership almost 2 years later. When you grow up, get a job, and make money, you can buy whatever you want. Silver linings, am I right?!

“Now I know. No one in the world is crazy. They make you into a crazy person little by little if you don’t fit society’s standards.”

He was an odd duck; a few times, I wondered if maybe he was actually crazy. He did do some crazy things, and I do think he needed help, but I don’t think he was crazy. I think he was just weird, like me. Sometimes, people don’t want to be around weird people, and those people get lonely and maybe a little depressed, and they need help. This show reminded me that people aren’t born good, bad, normal, or weird; we are all shaped by our circumstances. It’s easy to say that someone is crazy, but have you ever tried to get to know them and maybe find out why they are the way they are?

When I first started working at the memory care facility, I was hired as a receptionist and tried to spend as little time as possible around the residents because I thought they were kind of weird and also I had heard some pretty crazy things. I didn’t want to take the time and try to get to know them as people. Some of them I don’t talk too much at all. They aren’t really that with it, and I have a job to do at the front desk, but many of them are really cool. I can make small talk if I pass them in the hallway, and sometimes I don’t know what they are talking about, but that doesn’t mean they are crazy. Just because someone thinks or acts differently than you do, doesn’t necessarily make them weird. Maybe I’m the weird one since I don’t understand what they are talking about. People don’t come with labels; they are given them by others. The last quote is this…

Her: What’s so great about magic anyway? What’s the point of getting your hopes up that it will all work out only to be disappointed shortly after?
Him: At least you get to smile, even if only for that moment.

This quote means a lot to me right now. I’ve often wondered what the point of allowing yourself to feel hopeful is. What’s the point of allowing yourself to be happy? It’s not going to last, so why bother, right? In my See U Tomorrow series, I talked about the special tomorrow. One day, there will come a day when you will be grateful you never gave up. Even if it’s just one day, and tomorrow everything is a trainwreck again, at least you had one day. This is why those days are important. I’m glad I made time to go to concerts and stuff. My life is still a mess, and nothing will change in the next few days, but during that concert, that long drive with a friend, that visit to the zoo, or decorating my car with stickers… For that little bit of time I can be happy, because just briefly, everything that’s going wrong in my life doesn’t matter.

Magic may not be real, but I don’t watch magic tricks because I think it’s real. I watch because I think it’s fun, and life isn’t, so it’s nice to have fun things in your life. It may only be for a moment, but isn’t it nice to feel good, even if only for a moment? I think it is. I would like to be happy if only for a second because 60 seconds is one whole minute. In the Kpop world, we have this phrase we use in the fandom. A lot of a little is a lot. When a new music video gets released, we stream it as much as possible to get a good score on music shows in the hopes of a win. Some people don’t because they think it’s too much work or they don’t have time to stream all day.

I always say if we have 2 people that stream it 20 times, that’s 40 views, but if we have 50 people that only watch it once, that’s 50 views, and if you count the 2 others, that’s 90 total. Some people think that streaming is a chore that has to be done constantly and they don’t want to bother. I often think that if anything is wrong, I can’t be happy, but a lot of a little is a lot. Just because my whole day wasn’t great doesn’t mean I can’t be happy. Happiness can happen anywhere at any time. You just have to allow yourself to acknowledge it.

I think that’s what he meant in the quote from my last post. You can be happy here and now, but only if you allow yourself to be right here, right now. Thank you for reading, and I hope you are doing well. Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Also, make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss out on any posts, and I’ll see you in two weeks!!

Sincerely,
LIBD