Hey, everyone! Today’s post is about a favorite quote from “The Lord of the Rings.” I’m finding it hard to stay positive because things are tough right now, but I know it’s important to focus on the good and keep hope. I’ll also share a funny encounter I had with someone at work that reminded me of the importance of persisting even when it’s hard. Despite the challenges, I’m committed to seeing things through, even if I’m hesitant about it. I know I’m late I’m not sure what happened with my scheduled posts. Anyway, I think that’s a sufficient amount of small talk to begin this post.
“It’s like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it’ll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.”
So… I am not okay right now, but I saw Hot Topic has a Lord of the Rings line now. After some browsing, I saw a shirt with the last sentence of this quote on it. So here we are. I’m moving out, and it’s way more challenging than I could have imagined. I had a major panic attack just packing stuff up. There was talk of going back to the hospital because it really was THAT bad, but now I’m at my dads’. The problem is every time I go back to my moms to pack more stuff up, I just start freaking out again.
I’m so tired. Today, after stopping by my mom’s, I had a few other errands to run, and Kota was with me since they were quick stops. After the last stop, I told her it was okay, and we were all done, and then I was about to say, “We are going home,” but we weren’t. We don’t have a home. I’m halfway between houses now, and as great as my dad has been, it’s not my house or even my room. I don’t see an end in sight. I try to stay positive, but…… how could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? I don’t know. I don’t want to feel like this forever.
I wish I could go back. You have no idea how much I wish I could go back. It’s so hard. I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to do anything. There’s that tiny voice in my head that says I could just die, and I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this. If I did that, though, everything I’ve ever written would be for nothing. How can I prove to others it gets better if I give up. Psychiatrists say that you should want to live for yourself and not for others, but they really ought to just be happy we are still alive.
I don’t think I have much else to say right now. I thought I had already gone through the worst life had to offer, but little did I know the worst was yet to come. There’s some other stuff going on, too, but I don’t have the energy to go into it now. I want to believe that there’s some good left in my life, but I’m not sure. I suppose it would be worth fighting for if there is, though. There was a resident at work, and I passed her in the hallway, and here is the conversation that followed…
Me: Do you want to go eat? I can take you down to the dining room.
Her: Okay
Me: Starts wheeling her to the dining room
Her: No, I don’t want to go up and down this hall all day
Me: it’s just at the end of this hall.
Her: Well, that’s fine if you want to go there, but I want to go to the dining room.
Me: Yeah, that’s where we are going.
Her: Oh okay. *We get to the dining room* Why are we here?
Me: It’s time for lunch. Did you want to eat something?
Her: How much is it?
Me: It’s free, so do you want to eat something?
Her: *sighs* Well…. I suppose I might as well then.
This made me laugh when it happened. I kind of get it now though. I suppose if there is some good in this world, it would be worth fighting for. So, since I’m already here, I may as well just see it through. Much like her though, I will be doing so with the utmost reluctance and will not enjoy it even the slightest bit. Until next time…
Sincerely,
LIBD
Reading this just now, and its never late is it?
anyhow you said there nust be something to fight for, you have upcoming tickets to events , thats something to look for, you have a pet to take care of and thats another reason right there, also i promised i would come before the year ends, thats the 3rd reason to continue going, no matter how hard its ……there is always something to live for. Jesus gave his life for us, if we just put our whole heart and eyes in him, we are able to see his love for us, and that is the biggest reason I have to keep rolling.
I know all of what I said must not be encouraging at all, but im not good at sugar coating stuff .