When Life gives you Lemons

Hello again. How are you? It should be well into summer here by the time this gets posted. I’m doing better. I’m the proud owner of my mom’s old car, so that’s exciting. I had to get my own car insurance, which was an experience. Still no luck in finding a new place though, so it looks like I’ll be staying with my dad for longer than I hoped.

It’s so weird going from constantly walking on eggshells at my mom’s house just waiting to be yelled out for stupid stuff to just living my life. I keep waiting for them to get mad at me for something, so it’s going to take a while, I think, for me to stop being so on edge all the time.

I’m returning to Subway a few days a week to earn extra money to save up. Never thought I would be a 2-job kind of person, but when life gives you lemons…. Oh look, I magically managed to perfectly segway into today’s post. Let’s get to it then, shall we? Many of you are probably familiar with the phrase, ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.’ Others might prefer one of my favorites, ‘When life gives you lemons, throw them at people,’ but I’m here to talk about a phrase you likely haven’t heard.

If you are one of my regular readers, you may remember I’m going to see AJR in June. I wrote a Music Monday a few years ago for their song 100 bad days. I could write about many of their songs, and maybe I will…. But today, I am referencing a line in the pre-chorus of their song ‘Break My Face.’ I’ll post the song at the bottom; it’s a real gem. The line is pretty simple. It says

"What doesn't kill you
Makes you ugly
Life gives you lemons
At least it gave you something."

I love this because I’m tired of hearing that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It may be true, but I don’t feel stronger right now. I feel ugly. And that may not be true, but it makes me smile. Now, let’s get into the second half. This is so true. If life gives you lemons, you can decide for yourself if you want to make lemonade or just throw them at people. But at least you have lemons.

Lemon also tastes really good on roasted broccoli; mix it with some lemon juice and lemon zest, and you’ve got something good. But you could be stuck eating plain, boring roasted broccoli or just water, or you may not have anything to throw at people.

Life has given me A LOT, and I mean A LOT of lemons. Like if you need lemons let me know, I got you. At first, I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew I was NOT in the mood to make lemonade, and I’m not one to throw things at people. But at least I had something, and it took me a bit to realize it. My entire life became a massive trainwreck, and I felt so hopeless. Lately, I’ve realized I need to just be grateful that at least I have lemons.

A long time ago, I talked about a Korean drama I watched. One of the quotes I shared at the end was something like, “There is no comfort in knowing things could have been worse. Misfortune is just unfortunate.” That may have been true in the beginning, but eventually, there needs to come a time when you have to be grateful you’ve got lemons. It could have been worse.

My dad and his wife didn’t have to let me live with them or help me get my own car and insurance. There are some parents who aren’t that nice. The ladies at my church didn’t have to help me box up all my stuff when I was too upset to even think about boxing it up. When I had a major meltdown, my dad didn’t have to drop what he was doing to come pick me up and take me out to lunch. We didn’t leave the restaurant until we made a plan, and I no longer felt like my life was spiraling out of control.

This song and another song of theirs (Steve’s Going to London) can almost always cheer me up because they are just random and ridiculous in the best way. But we are talking about this one, so I will go ahead and share the Chorus.

Okay, so if I break my face
And I don't look so great
My face is just my face
Okay, so if I break my face
It ain't my darkest day
My face is just my face
I'm okay

Now, remember it’s taken me about a month to get to this point where I genuinely feel this way. When shit happens, it’s totally normal to feel hopeless or pessimistic. It’s actually very important to allow yourself to feel this way. During my meltdown, I remember the lady from my church who was there with me telling me to go ahead and feel however it was that I felt.

Only by acknowledging those feelings can we begin to heal; even then, it’s much easier said than done. Sometimes, it feels like life comes along and punches you in the face, but modern medicine has come a long way. I may be ugly now, but my face will heal, and then I’ll start washing it again. After a while, it will look even better than it did before. Plus, life gave me lemons, so at least it gave me something.

It’s not like when someone dies. No number of lemons is going to bring them back, but no one died, so I’m sure it’s not my darkest day. After all, my face is just my face, I’m not dead, and this is not going to permanently disfigure me, so while it may be scary and uncomfortable…. I think I’ll be okay. I might feel bad again, and that’s okay. Bad things that may not seem like a big thing to someone else can still be traumatic to the person experiencing it. And trauma takes time to heal.

Thank you for reading, and remember, this is just my perspective on what I’m going through in life. If you can’t relate, then I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help, but that’s fine. Misfortune is unfortunate, and it’s important to process all our emotions, good and bad, before we can start healing. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help because you have people in your life who want to help. It may not seem like it, but it’s true, and I would not have made it this far without all the people who have helped and supported me through this.

Remember, I’m always cheering for you, and I’ll see you in a few weeks. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but I don’t believe that. I think we are all stronger than we can possibly imagine. We just have to believe in ourselves and remember how much we already have overcome when we didn’t think we could.

Sincerely,
LIBD