What an odd title, huh? I promise it will all make sense by the end. I’m writing this on the last day of January, I think. I don’t actually know what day it is. I was feeling sick this morning, but after a nap, a few good meals, a shower, fresh sheets, and an early bedtime, I hope I’ll be better tomorrow. I finally started working out. I don’t have room for my workout table, so until I can clean and make room for it, I am doing step aerobics and an arm workout. I have discovered something while doing this. I have the stamina of a potato and the arm strength of a baby chick, but that just means there’s nowhere to go but up.
Are any of you familiar with the conqueror challenges? They are virtual journeys. They have actual trails and stuff, but I am currently journeying through Middle earth. I just completed the Shire, so that medal should be coming in the mail sometime this week. Edit: It came! If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you saw it a while ago, I love it!!! Anyway, they have an activity converter too, so my step aerobics count as part of the distance. They have all activities on the converter list, including household chores, mowing the lawn, and horseback riding, which will be great for lesson nights. Also, because it is The Lord of the Rings, riding will add some authenticity to the journey. If anyone is interested, it says that this; https://www.theconqueror.events/r/EC9701, will get you 10% off. That’s my referral code, and if you refer 2 people, you’ll get a free challenge. I don’t have a deal with them or anything; I just really love it, and it gives me a reason to be excited about working out. Also, I want a free challenge. They just released Aragorns journey in Return of the Kings, so once I drop the ring into mt doom. I want to do those next.
I also started eating healthier. I have an app where I can log all the foods I eat, to ensure I stay within my daily limits. It’s funny; before, I had tried many apps, habit trackers, or anything to help me be healthier and take care of myself, including a scheduling app. I’m still brushing my teeth AND washing my face every day, and I always snooze my alerts for that stuff. I guess all I needed was to not be depressed anymore. It feels so good to feel good about life. I mentioned in the previous post about the mindset app and how I had started listening to Eric Nam’s mindset, and I’m still getting through it. I turn it on while I wash my face and brush my teeth, and the episode I listened to tonight had a very unique ending. He said every once in a while, you just need to have a dance party and started playing some random dance party music, and I did. I danced along, smiled, trying to apply eye cream while dancing was difficult, but then halfway through, he was like, “… and smile. Smile big. Put the… I don’t know what it’s called the edges of your mouth up”.
Here’s the thing about me. I’m not a smiley person, but I did, and I felt so goofy in my pajamas with my fluffy spa headband on, smiling like an idiot. But once I started, it was hard to stop. I realized I always take life so seriously, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be goofy and fun too. I think that was good advice. I’m gonna try to have dance parties more often. I can’t wait to finish the series. He’s got such a way with words. I love people that talk to you and not at you. That’s how I try to write my blog. I don’t like when people who know everything try to impart all their smartness on me. I zone out. Woosung and Eric talk to you like a fellow human, not as someone who needs their wisdom, even though I’ve found it to be super helpful. It’s hard to describe, but I like that type of communication. Am I making any sense? Oh well, moving on.
Everything is a mess because I’m working like crazy to prepare for the craft event. I’m so grateful not only to you guys, who have encouraged me but to my family members as well. My mom and her husband paid for the business cards I designed. My grandma is offering to buy the tabletop displays, and my dad and his wife told me to make a nice poster/sign for my business, and they would get it for me. I’m still scared, but I’m also really excited. If it goes well, I should be able to break even on my expenses and pay off my credit cards. I don’t have ‘happy anxiety’ anymore. I’m just glad I’m happy and starting to take care of myself and make something of my life which really has been all I’ve ever wanted.
I just realized I’ve spent this whole time talking about myself and didn’t even say hello! How rude of me! How are you? Is anything exciting going on? I hope you are finding things to smile about, but if not, I would definitely give bathroom dance parties a try. If life is hard, remember to be kind to yourself. Take it 24 hours at a time, and if all you do is get through the day, then that is something to feel proud of. When I was struggling, it was so hard, but struggling isn’t a sign of weakness. Like Charlie Mackesy wrote, “asking for help isn’t giving up. It’s refusing to give up.” Asking for help is being strong and brave enough to say, “I can’t go this alone, but I don’t want to keep living like this.” I just made that sound so easy, but if you are a long-time reader, you know what a long road it has been for me to get here. Just remember, you deserve to be happy and loved. Most importantly, you deserve to be able to be excited about life.
I feel bad writing about when I’m happy because I know when I was depressed, I hated hearing about how happy other people are, but just know one day you will get there too. And all the hurt and tears and pain are worth it when you remember what it’s like to enjoy life. Eric Nam talked about “the process” I might have written about this in the last one, but it was a good reminder. Just because it’s not good doesn’t mean it’s terrible. We have to go through difficult times to get to where we want to be. So never give up because you are more than whatever you are going through now. And I’m cheering for you, and I hope you are cheering for you too.
Sincerely,
LIBD
Bathroom Dance Parties
