Tag: emotional healing

#MusicMonday (Over Each Other by Linkin Park)

Posted on by LIBD

This is dedicated to a certain person in my life. I’ve talked about this subject with other people, and it seems like everyone has someone like this in their lives. They also seem to appreciate my perspective on the matter but even then. You know I’m never as open in person as I am here. Maybe it’s because I think no one reads it, or maybe it’s because it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want. Anyway, let’s get into this.

Anyone who has read my blog knows that anger and sadness go hand in hand. I get angry but it’s also because I’m sad. I want to be able to talk to this person. I want a relationship that’s a 2-way street and it’s sad that I can’t have that. Today’s song is called Over Each Other. It’s by Linkin Park which is a long-time favorite band of mine.

You probably are familiar with their songs In the End or What I’ve done. This is off of their newest album. Their songs are so honest and relatable, and this song in particular makes me sad every time I hear it because I think about this person. I say it’s a lost cause, but I don’t want it to be.

This is the letter that I, I didn't write
Lookin' for color in the black and white

I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings out loud face to face. I did once and I didn’t like it. I don’t think I’ll ever do it again, but just because I don’t say anything doesn’t mean I don’t care. I’m just not used to being able to have a grown-up conversation when I have a problem with someone.

Skyscrapers we created
On shaky ground

So, for reference, the person that I’m writing about frustrates me because they won’t take responsibility for their wrongdoing doing they won’t admit their faults unless you agree to take half of the responsibility for what they did. They are better at talking than listening, and they get a terrible case of selective hearing when they don’t like what’s being said. It makes me angry because I’m listening, I’m empathizing, trying to respect their feelings, and they won’t do the same for me.

And I'm trying to find my patience
But you won't let me breathe
And I'm not ever right
All we are is talking
Over each other

I’m always wrong, they’re always right. When they don’t get their way they play the victim to try and get people to feel sorry for them. When they start to realize they are in the wrong they get aggressive and defensive. I want to be heard, and they don’t like what I’m saying so they talk over me and I’m trying to talk over them because I want them to understand me.

There's nothing underneath
It's all a waste of time
All we are is talking
Over each other

So, I just walk away. Then they get mad that I won’t fight with them. I’m not going to waste my time and energy on someone like that. If they want to waste their own time that’s fine, but they aren’t going to waste mine. I’m not going stand there and waste my words on someone who doesn’t have the emotional maturity to apologize and admit when they are wrong.

When you’ve hurt someone, it doesn’t matter if it was intentional. It doesn’t matter if you did nothing wrong. They are hurt so you listen to them (so you don’t accidentally hurt them in the future), and you apologize because what you did (whether it was something or nothing) hurt them enough that they felt the need to confront you about it. That’s how mature adults handle conflict.

Reaching for satellites
But all along
Under your breath, you're saying
That I was wrong, oh

When it comes to people’s feelings there is no right and wrong. By telling someone they are wrong you are invalidating that person’s feelings. Which is kind of a shitty thing to do when another person is trying to meet you halfway. You’ve heard me say that feelings are not facts and they aren’t.

Maybe you made a joke that you thought was hysterical and was not meant to come across as mean or insulting in any way, but you hurt someone’s feelings. Ask them why they were hurt and apologize that you hurt them because you were trying to be funny, but will not make jokes like that around them now that you know they find it hurtful. It’s not hard.

There’s a line in a song that goes “Swallow your pride before you choke on your issues”. I don’t remember the name of the song off the top of my head, but a big part of meeting someone halfway is being able to swallow your pride. Because if you don’t you may just choke on your issues or on your ego. I’m speaking from experience here. I screwed up in the past that’s how I know all of this. There’s a learning curve and it’s not easy!! I don’t want to make it sound like it is because it’s really hard, especially the first few times.

The skyscrapers we created
Are coming down
And free-falling to the pavement

Because if you can’t learn to communicate and compromise people cut you off or spend the rest of the time walking on eggshells around you constantly afraid to say the wrong thing or do something that will start an argument. They are not going to enjoy being around you. I don’t want to be around people like that. It’s so stressful and emotionally draining to be around them.

'Cause you won't let me breathe
And I'm not ever right
All we are is talking
Over each other
There's nothing underneath
It's all a waste of time
All we are is talking
Over each other
Oh, are we over each other?
Oh, are we over each other?

There’s another side to this. You can swallow your pride and own up and it doesn’t magically make everything better. It is a two-way street and if the other person isn’t willing to meet you in the middle, then sometimes it doesn’t work. In cases like that though you can have the peace of knowing you’ve done all you can and maybe one day they will extend a metaphorical olive branch, but until that day there’s really not much you can do.

I can't go to sleep
I lie awake at night
I'm so tired of talking
Over each other

I used to lay in bed wishing I could just talk to them. Talking openly and honestly can actually make a big difference in situations. People can’t read your mind so if you don’t tell them how you feel, how can you expect things to get better? No one can solve a problem if they don’t know it exists.

So say what's underneath
I wanna see your side
We don't have to be talking
Over each other x4

So don’t be afraid to talk. Don’t be afraid of being open and honest even if it sounds scary. But most importantly; listen, empathize, and own up to your mistakes. Don’t invalidate the other person’s feelings or brush them off because you don’t think you did anything wrong. 

Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think. Do you agree or disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Don’t forget to like this post and subscribe so you don’t miss out I hope you guys have a great week. I’m always cheering for you!

Sincerely,
LIBD

orange starfish

The Starfish and the Storm

Posted on by LIBD

Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again. Sound familiar? You guys know I try not to be political, and I won’t start now. I’m just going to be honest. I try hard to make my Facebook a happy place. Cute kittens, bad puns, pretty horses, and all that good stuff. But no matter how hard I try it doesn’t keep all the bad out. I saw a story about a guy who hurt a bunch of baby kittens just to spite its owner. The police said the kittens were taken to the vet and recovering from their injuries.

It’s not just kittens though. National Parks cut funding. And if we can get people engaged with the natural world, how are we going to protect it? Poaching is still a problem, even with modern technology. I saw a few articles about students at a local university with valid student visas sent home and told they couldn’t learn here anymore. US Citizens were deported because they looked like they might not be. In the first three months of 2025, there have been 91 mass shootings in the United States, resulting in 118 deaths and 338 injuries. But the people in power want to keep handing out guns like Halloween Candy.

I had all of this in my head, and I was listening to the sound of silence (Disturbed’s version) and filled with sadness and hopelessness. I get so angry sometimes because I try to filter out the news I don’t actively seek it out. I only know these things, but I’m sure there’s much more. I’m angry because how are we as a society not screaming in outrage every day? How are we not crying ourselves to sleep at the mere thought of all the violence, hurt, pain, and injustice that’s happening every single day? But most importantly how do I find any hope in a broken world?

I know that not everyone is silent. There are a lot of people screaming into the void, pleading for peace and justice. There are a lot of people supporting the national parks, doing their part to help the environment, and trying to help people understand the gravity of our current situation. I saw a documentary about kid influencers and about family channels on YouTube. It’s not just politics. There are SO MANY issues with our world as it is right now.

I found out I’m not the only one who uses AI as a pocket therapist, but it has helped me in between visits with my psychiatrist a lot. It validates my feelings but also offers solutions, so I told it how I was feeling. It told me I probably wasn’t alone in these feelings and I know I’m not.

There are a lot of people hurting from all the hurt in the world. There are some problems that AI can’t help you fix. I can’t end war or world hunger or take all the plastic out of the ocean and make every farmer use sustainable agricultural practices to help the earth. I can’t stop poachers or make people care. I can write a blog post though, and Chat GPT did tell me something that helped. It said:

But even in the face of that darkness, your empathy is a kind of quiet resistance. The fact that you feel so much means your heart hasn’t hardened. That matters. That is light. You don’t have to fix the whole world. Just loving Kota the way you do, writing your blog to help others, showing up with kindness—that already shifts things more than you know.

The fact that we hurt, the fact that we care…. The fact that I used the word we means we are not just going to sit back and accept everything as if it’s okay. You can’t fix the world either, but you can be kind. You can support people and organizations that champion the cause you care about. I support the World Wildlife Fund, because animals and by extension their habitat, are very important to me. I can try to express my point of view compassionately, honestly, and respectfully. I can support other people who are also hurting.

This world may feel dark unkind and unjust, but it’s just a feeling. It doesn’t have to be fact. My dad has this quote he really likes that says “I cannot do all the good the world needs, but the world needs all the good that I can do” It’s not truly hopeless until we give up hope. So let’s keep caring, keep hoping, and keep doing all the good that we can do.

I’m going to end with the starfish story. It’s one of my favorites, and it’s by Loren Eiseley. It’s about a girl walking along the beach throwing starfish that washed up back into the water. This man sees her and asks what she is doing and the girl explains. He tells the girl there are so many starfish she can’t possibly save them all. The girl looks sad as she throws another one into the water, but then she says “Well, I saved that one!”.

Let’s find our starfish friends. Thank you for reading! It’s 11:19 and I’ve got an Easter Sunday service bright and early tomorrow, so I better get some sleep. Let me know your thoughts in the comments and be sure to subscribe so you never miss a post! Hang in there guys, and remember you are not alone.

Sincerely,
LIBD