Hey y’all, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? So… Fun News!!!!! I know how to say, “I like coffee” and “This is a cellphone (or various other things I know the name of)” in Korean! YAY ME!!!!!! Just please, for the love of all that is good in the world, don’t make me write it. My spelling is coming along much slower than my speaking.
On the other hand, NOT fun news. I am floundering (is that a word? it is now.)! It’s awful!!! I’ll have a really great day, and then a week later, nothing has changed, but suddenly everything is terrible. I couldn’t deal with anything, but that night, everything was great!!!!! It’s SOOOO ANNOYING!
Does anyone else have this issue? There is no way I am the only one. One day you’re dying inside, and the next day you’re like, “Why the heck was I so bummed out yesterday.” Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I am getting used to this up-and-down roller-coaster of moods. I dare even call myself a seasoned professional in dealing with this shit. As the self-proclaimed expert I am dealing with my life, I will share some tips with you, dear reader. So, yup, that’s what this is going to be about. If you don’t care, I’d recommend watching the music video for black on black by NCT 2018 as an alternative use of your time. However, if Kpop isn’t your thing, the music video for Bloom by the paper kites would also be an acceptable excuse to stop reading and do something else.
Now for those still reading, Thank you! I’m flattered you chose reading my blog over watching two of the most incredible music videos ever. Let’s get started. Welcome to lifeinspiredbydreams’ guide to living when life sucks!!!!! Let’s do this thing!!
Rule number 1: (And you should write this down even if life doesn’t suck.) EVER. NO MATTER WHAT…… make important decisions when you are tired. If you can’t sleep, that’s unfortunate. I have been there, and I feel for you, but making a decision beyond what kind of coffee you will get tomorrow to keep you awake is a no-go. When you are tired, your life becomes 25% worse than it actually is. Also, you’re not thinking clearly, and if your life sucks, you probably are incredibly overwhelmed on top of it. Even when I was at my lowest, I never wanted to die, even once, when I first woke up in the morning. However, at 2 in the morning, lying in bed tired and feeling like a zombie but unable to sleep, you better believe I wanted to die. Another example: I had been awake for 16 hours when I decided that shoving all things horse out of my life was also a good idea. In fact, orange soda-flavored pop tarts were probably also a horrible decision made by a poor sleep-deprived soul who wasn’t thinking straight. How they actually became a thing is beyond me. So, Rule Number 1 is NEVER trying to make decisions while you are tired, especially life decisions. It’s a no-go people. Write it down and save it for when you wake up.
Rule number 2. I wanted to punch my psychologist when he told me this, but it has changed my life… Stop sleeping during the day. I know it’s dreadful. I legit in my head was like, “you got to be kidding me. Who do you think you are to tell me to stop sleeping during the day”? It really will help, even though it sounds terrible, and sometimes it is. It totally helped me sleep better at night. I can’t even take naps anymore, or it messes up my sleep. When I’m down and feel like life sucks, I still want to, but I don’t; even if I want to lay in bed and hide from the world, I do not sleep during the day anymore, which has changed my life.
Rule number 3. EAT!!!!!!! This isn’t always a problem for me, but this last spiral I took was a huge problem. Nothing sounded good, and eating wasn’t going to do anything for my life except make me fat (which I knew was a lie, but that didn’t stop my brain from saying it). You have to eat, even if it’s just a few slices of cheese and crackers or half of a salad. Even when I’m not hungry, I have to eat. Like right now, I’m making frozen rolls with honey butter because I know I’ll eat bread no matter how bad things get. Also, it’s better than having ice cream for dinner like I did the other night when I couldn’t convince myself to eat anything else. Don’t worry about doing life perfectly when your brain gets in that life sucks mindset. All you got to do is weather the storm until it passes. And once the storm passes, I will switch to a less bread-based diet. All these little rules I have are designed to help me weather even the worst storm life dares to throw at me. Between you and me, though, I hope I’ve already made it through the worst of it, but you never know, and it’s good to be prepared.
Rule number 4. Reach out if you need to. One hour of unloading all my problems onto my counselor did wonders for me. One day I set my timer for 2 minutes. I gave myself that allotted time to whine, scream, cuss and complain like a child about anything and everything in my life that I thought was stupid, lame, or unfair. For example, the customer at work that asked me to scrape off some of the sauce. She didn’t tell me she only wanted a little bit of mayo. I automatically put the standard amount on because I’M NOT A MIND READER! No, I’m not still mad about it… I don’t know what you’re talking about! Anyway. So don’t be afraid to let it out, whether speaking, writing, singing, dancing… You do you!!!! Cause you’re a boss!!!! (Also, Boss by NCT U… great song for when you need to do life, it really boosts my ego when I listen to it)
Rule number 5. Take care of yourself. Don’t forget to shower, brush your hair, do laundry, and the other little everyday things. You’ll want that stuff caught up and taken care of when you feel better. Brushing my teeth and washing my face is torture when I feel low. That’s why I always tell myself, “Come on, me, you don’t want to be ugly when you finally start feeling better, do you?” Yes. I’m shallow like a kiddy pool, so what? Nobody’s perfect). It seems like useless, pointless stuff, but I know that the minute I give up on the small things is the minute I start to give up on bigger things. Sometimes it works, and sometimes I can’t bring myself to do anything, but even when that happens, be kind to yourself; life is hard when you’re depressed. So, it’s okay to have a few off days. That brings us to…
Rule number 6. Number six is the most crucial rule when living while life sucks. Number 6 is: DON’T GIVE UP! Now I don’t know where all y’all are in your battle against mental illness, but for me, I’ve come too far to give up now. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. Not at all, but I know it will eventually improve, and I want to be around when it does. No matter where you are in your struggle, please don’t give up on yourself. You deserve so much more than the mess that’s going on in your head and in your life. Maybe you’re tired of waiting for it to get better; I’ve been there too. I was there a few days ago, but I’ve invested over 10 years fighting this crap at this point, and I ain’t stopping now! Besides, just think, if I had given up half a year ago when I wanted to. I would never have discovered NCT, The Paper Kites, or BTS…. oh my gosh, I wouldn’t have even discovered VIXX!! Wow, thank goodness I stuck around. What music did I even listen to before then?! Also, if I had given up, I never would have been able to ride the horse that I’m riding, and she is amazing!!!!!! That…… and I’m going to Florida in a couple months. We’re going to visit my grandma, and you better believe I’m sticking around for that. The easiest way to not give up is to find the things in life worth fighting for. For me, it’s k-pop (don’t judge me), horses, my dog, and seeing the bright side because I really want to know what it’s like. No matter how long it takes, I feel like it will be EPIC when I finally get there. Never give up on yourself; Other people can help, but if I’m not fighting for myself, it doesn’t matter how many people are helping.
I don’t know how many more ups and downs there’s going to be, but probably a lot. I also don’t know how many more suicides I will hear about, but I will not be one of them. I will prove to everyone that no matter how bad it gets, it’s possible to make it through to the other side. It kind of really sucks when I hear on the news that someone killed themselves because I wish someone could’ve told them there was another way or that it’s okay to need help and not something to be ashamed of. I wish they would have known that it would get better because it always does. The thing about my roller-coaster moods is that it isn’t until I hit rock bottom that I even start to feel better. Sometimes the moment seems so bad that better doesn’t even seem to be a thing anymore. And that’s when I remember Florida, riding lessons, my dog, or even my k-pop collection with corresponding posters because music is always something to be excited about. The easiest way to fight depression (After you’ve consulted professional help) is to have something worth fighting for. I hope you all can find that one thing that is worth fighting for.
Oh, and if you can’t find it, keep looking. I promise it’s there even if you don’t see it at first. Because you deserve something worth fighting for, so don’t give up until you’ve found it.
Sincerely,
LIBD
A Guide to Living When Life Sucks
