안녕!!!! How are y’all doing? Better than me, I hope lol. Just kidding, I’m doing okay. I got back from Florida a few days ago. Of course, I haven’t seen the Sun since we left South Carolina, so the seasonal affective disorder is making me incredibly sad. Hahaha, get it? SAD….. no, okay. Anyway, I thought this would be the perfect time to do a music Monday for one of my favorite songs. Speaking of favorite songs, you’ve got to check out Hala Hala by Ateez and watch the performance version. It is EPIC! Even though it’s epic though it literally makes no sense. I’ve looked up 10 different translations, and I’ve got nothing, so if any Atiny’s would like to enlighten me, please do. Anyway, back to the song at hand; 100 bad days by AJR. I love everything about this song so let’s dive right in.
Remember when we all got drunk? I ended up with two broke thumbs Oh my God, I felt so dumb, lucky me
I can’t relate. My brother might be able to, but I was a boring kid. I do remember plenty of I feel dumb moments. To this day, they still make me cringe when I think about them. I will share one of my not emotionally scarring moments though. I remember when I was getting on my horse, and she started walking away before I was all the way on because I wasn’t holding the reins like I had been told 700 times to do. So, there I am, one foot stuck in the stirrup other foot hopping along on the ground, trying to get my horse to stop while all my friends just watch and laugh. I never forgot to hold my reins when I got on after that.
I wrote a song that no one knows I played a show and no one showed Oh my God, I felt so alone, lucky me
My dog was there for my 1 girl’s living room karaoke performance. She didn’t seem all that impressed, though. Even now, when I’ve got 3 good friends, it’s still so easy to feel alone, especially with the days getting shorter and the weather getting drearier. Lucky me.
[Pre-chorus] When all is going wrong and you're scared as hell What you gonna do? Who you gonna tell? Maybe a hundred bad days made a hundred good stories A hundred good stories make me interesting at parties
I still will never forget the first time I heard this song. My brother introduced me to it, and I was only half listening at first. I looked at my brother and said, “Did he just say 100 good stories make me interesting at parties?” My brother just nodded and told me to keep listening, but I remember thinking this was the weirdest song I had ever heard.
[Chorus] A hundred bad days made a hundred good stories A hundred good stories make me interesting at parties Yeah, no, I ain't scared of you No, I ain't scared of you no more
When I really sit back and think though, it’s true. I always talk about how regretful I was about my time in college. I always thought of it as a failure on my part, but I’ve got so many great college stories! The more I talk about it, the more memories come up. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t terrible because I have many regrets, but it wasn’t a failure like I thought it was. There were some really great times too. In my first year, my roommate and I had a great system: She took out the trash in the room, and I vacuumed the room. In my second year, we had our own rooms, and shorty into that year, I was staring at the trash can in my room with resentment. I HATE taking out the trash, so one day, I went to her room and said, “If you come to take out the trash in my room, I’ll vacuum yours for you.” It didn’t happen often, but whenever I did not want to take out the trash, I would vacuum her room, and poof problem solved.
La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, da, da La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, da, da
I had highlighted this whole part and had my hand hovering over the delete button, but then I thought, nah……. Just leave it. Out of curiosity, did you read through every la-da-da…., or did you just see it with your eyes and skip straight to this part? I’m genuinely curious.
No, I ain't scared of you No, I ain't scared of you no more
A few days ago, while I was still in Florida, I was in the car listening to this song with my mom, and she said, “I really like this song, but who is it that he’s not scared of anymore?”. I loved this song too, but I had never thought about it. You know I don’t do feelings very well, so I mentioned perhaps it was a profound metaphor for the bad things that happened in his life. My mom agreed and proceeded to input her own thoughts, which I don’t remember because I had already started writing this in my head. How had I missed the most crucial part of the song!!!!!!!!
Remember when she broke my heart Waitin' for the waiter to return my card? Right as I let down my guard, lucky me
I wasn’t even dating the guy. I’ve been single forever and probably will continue to be, but I don’t talk about that. We were really great friends, and I mentioned that I maybe kind of liked him. However, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship blah blah blah (it was a whole paragraph) because he was one of my best friends. I was cool just being best friends, but I threw it out there because I genuinely liked him, and I was sick of everyone asking me why I didn’t have a boyfriend…. Long story short, he finally responded 2 or 3 months later, saying I didn’t have to apologize for my feelings. We could still keep talking, and then 2 weeks later, he stopped responding to any of my messages, so I took a hint, and we haven’t spoken since. This was like 4 years ago. I’ll admit I’m still a bit bitter. He could’ve just told me he didn’t want to talk to me anymore, but that story is always a pretty big hit when I tell my friends about it, so it’s cool. Also, since I got into K-pop, my standard for guys has been pretty high. He wasn’t bad looking, but Vixx was the first group I was super into, and I remember seeing a picture of one of them and being like, “He has such a nice face…. Wait, he’s a dude. How is his face better than mine!!”. 1 week later, I discovered the magic of a skincare routine, and I figured out why all their faces are so flawless, and I have been trying to catch up ever since. My sister-in-law said they look pretty, but I guess she didn’t mean it as a compliment which was how I took it. I think most of the guys she finds attractive are ugly though, so we’re even.
We had to work a bit more hard Only just to get a little bit less far We could laugh about it all tomorrow, couldn't we?
Dude, this perfectly sums up the Music Monday I did for ON by BTS, where I wrote the entire thing but didn’t save it or ask if I wanted to save it. Then 4 hours later, I re-wrote it, but I know it wasn’t as good as the original. I can actually laugh about it now. It too, makes a great story to tell. Another good one is… One day, I was at work, and this guy asked for an Italian sub. I asked if he meant the spicy Italian or the Italian BMT, and he said the spicy. So, I put the meat and cheese on, and he told me what veggies he wanted, I asked him if it looked okay, and he said YES. But…. when I told him the total, he said it was wrong. He said it should have been 4.99 (I think idk it was so long ago). And I told him the only $4.99 sub we had was the meatball sub, and he said……. “Yeah, that’s what I wanted.” The spicy Italian is just pepperoni and salami!!!!!!! You couldn’t have told me at any point while I was making the sandwich (That didn’t have any meatballs on it) that it was wrong?!?! He waited until it was wrapped up and ready to go, so I had to re-make the ENTIRE sandwich. That’s another good story I love to tell people about and laugh at.
[Insert pre chorus, chorus, many la-da-da’s, 1 I ain’t scared of you, and 1 I ain’t scared of you no more]
Do your thing it goes like this
{long instumental}
No, I ain't scared of you
No, I ain't scared of you
I wanted to write this because this time of year is always one that I dread. After all, I know my depression worsens with the shorter days. I don’t want to constantly be worried I’m getting worse every time I have a few bad days. They’re just days. I’ll get some hot chocolate and get my k-drama on if it’s not a good one. Nothing is good or bad; it just is, and that’s what I must remember.
A hundred bad days made a hundred good stories A hundred good stories make me interesting at parties Yeah, no, I ain't scared of you No, I ain't scared of you [Insert chorus for the last time]
If I do have a crappy day, maybe it’ll at least make a good story. I can now proudly say that I am nothing if not interesting, and it’s all because of these terrible days that turned into great stories. Maybe tomorrow won’t be any better, but perhaps it will. I will add a quick little LIBD’s guide to: SAD. Primarily for me but also for anyone else riding the struggle bus with me. Try to get out whenever you can. Maybe I’ll ask my brother if he wants to drive around and catch Pokémon. Getting out is more about leaving my room than actually being outside.
In the winter, outside means going to the mall with a friend or driving around. Also, if I feel especially awful, I will talk it out with my counselor. It’s not really talking. It’s more just me venting and her asking questions or offering suggestions that I may or may not take. Also, I’m going to make sure I stay stocked up on fuzzy blankets, fuzzy socks, and flavored hot chocolates because that combo can turn around even the worst of days. Lastly, I’m going to try to be kind to myself. If I go 3 whole weeks with only doing the bare minimum required to do life, that’s okay because at least I’m still doing something. Even if that something is just going to work and coming back home.
That’s it for today. Thank you for reading. If you also suffer from seasonal affective disorder, then I wish you the best of luck. The only thing I look forward to this time of the year is Christmas and new year. Once they’re done, it’s just awfulness until the days finally start getting longer. That wasn’t overly optimistic; I apologize, but not really because it’s the truth. Until next time hang in there. If you play Pokémon Go, there are some exciting things to look forward to, and if you don’t play Pokémon Go, I highly recommend it. It gives me a reason to leave my house even if I’m just in the car riding around. There are Pokéstops to spin, gyms to conquer, raids to be won, and many, many Pokémon to catch! It’s a wonderful distraction! I hope to see you all again soon!
Sincerely,
LIBD
