Min Ik: “Don’t blame me for your groundless expectations. Expectation, by definition, is a false hope for something to happen”
The Secret Life of my Secretary
Gal Hee: “Even when it’s the only thing I could do?… Even then, can’t I at least expect?”
This was a sad scene because she was so sad, and he was being a jerk, and I decided right then and there that she was too good for him, but I later retracted that statement. Anyway, I didn’t think anything of it the first time I saw it. However, I started writing something a while ago. I just recently went back to re-watch it, and when I watched this scene, I immediately thought of this incomplete, half-baked blog post attempt, and I knew it was fate. So here I am, finishing it as another addition to the k-quotes series now that it has more of a sense of direction.
My entire life, I’ve lived according to my optimistic pessimism; if I always assume the worst, I’ll either be right or pleasantly surprised. Hope to me, for the longest time, was something dangerous. I’d hoped for things my entire life, only to have those dreams crushed. I didn’t want to hope because I didn’t want to set myself up for failure. But a while back, I learned that my concept of hope was messed up. I hated hope so much because it always went hand in hand with disappointment. But I think what really happened is that I got hope, confused with expectation. You can have hope without expectation, and you can have expectation without hope. I can’t believe it’s taken 25 years to figure that out, but at that moment, for the first time in longer than I can remember, I felt hope. And it felt good, like, really good. The last time I felt hope was the special tomorrow, I talked about in my See U Tomorrow series, and I forgot how good it felt. Even now, just thinking about the feeling brings tears to my eyes, but I’m getting a bit ahead of myself.
A while back, I saw my faith in humanity restored. I saw a community come together to change this world for the better. I saw people supporting each other not because they had to but because they all believed that this world needed to be changed for the better. I saw peace and love amid controversy, which was a beautiful sight. I think hope is one of those things that you don’t realize you’ve lost until you find it again.
For as long as I can remember, people have told me I need to have a more positive outlook. As the decent human being I am, I politely chose not to laugh in their face. I always brushed it off, but the truth was, and still kind of is, I didn’t want to be positive! I have always heard stories of people who hope for something that works out in their favor……. It made me furious. I didn’t know if I was just unlucky or what, but I had no intention of changing my outlook on life. Hope was stupid, and I was doing fine without it! I wasn’t fine, but I was sure that hope was pointless anyway.
Needless to say, I’ve learned that hope isn’t stupid, and it isn’t setting myself up for failure. Hope is basically another name for my optimistic pessimism. When I say that by thinking negatively, I’m either always right or pleasantly surprised. That’s still hope. I hope that I’ll be pleasantly surprised instead of being right. Hope is believing that despite everything that’s going wrong, there is something somewhere that is going right. Hope is looking past the world’s ugliness and finding those little pockets of goodness, no matter how small they might seem. Expectations are dangerous and can hurt, but hope is the light at the end of the tunnel that shows you that everything is going to be okay.
Expectation is thinking that my family will throw you a surprise party and being disappointed when they don’t. Even though you knew it wasn’t going to happen anyway. Hope is being excited because my birthday is coming up, and I bought myself a JBJ95 light stick as a birthday present! Best birthday present ever, btw. If you know no one will get you what you really want, just shop for yourself there is no shame in making sure you get the best present ever! I even wrapped up my gift for myself, so I could experience the joy of unwrapping a present. #iregretnothing
-Expectation is secretly waiting for someone to surprise me with a horse of my own even though I know it’s not going to happen. Hope is looking forward to my weekly riding lesson with Sunshine and becoming the best horse person I can be!
-Expectation can hurt, but hope can only comfort.
-Expectation is waiting for the world to magically fix itself. Hope is seeing a community of people willing to step up and change this world for the better no matter how long it takes.
-Expectations are stupid, but hope……. Hope is beautiful.
Never confuse expectations with hope, and never rely too much on your expectations.
Thank you so much for reading, I know this is shorter than usual, but I have said all I feel I need to say. If this were a school assignment, I would continue to restate the same point 50 billion ways to meet the length requirement, but I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do, and I feel like I already did that at least a little bit. My bad, I apologize. Having a blog is so lovely. I’m sure my English teachers would be incredibly disappointed, but I no longer have to play by anyone else’s rules. Until next time… 화이팅! (Fighting!)
Sincerely,
LIBD
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